Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Tis the Season:)!!

The season is upon us. Time for turkey and fa la la la la. It is my favorite time of the year. The weather is cool, but most of the time it is still bearable. Everywhere you go people are still in the Christmas spirit, AND I get to eat Auntie Em's sweet potatoes (from the Mayberry cookbook). Yes, they are my FAVORITE part of Thanksgiving. It's the only time during the year that I get to eat them.

It is also my favorite time of the year because Mr. Snowman gets to make his appearance in the front of our house where he is lit up by all of the other Christmas lights that surround him. The day that we put our Christmas lights up is NOT my favorite day of the year. It comes with high tension...and extremely high ladders (which I always get talked into going up). However, by the end of the night...the beauty of the house and the glow of the lights warms my heart. It is another reason that I love this season.

We lit up the outside of our house last Sunday. This was the first year that Emma insisted on "helping". She got RIGHT in the middle of the lights and wanted to hand them to "mama". PERFECT! It may have added a little more tension to an already intense day, but the joy on her face when she knew that she helped made it all worthwhile. Here is a picture of our little helper elf. I hope you all enjoy this part of the season as much as I do!

Friday, November 17, 2006

Blast from the "past"

I know that Emma's broken arm happened over a month ago, but I just downloaded the pictures and I had to share them.

Here is Emma. She broke her arm at noon the day before, spent 5 hours in our local ER only to be told that we had to drive to Denver, drove 9 hours (through a MAJOR snow storm) to get there at 3:30 AM, "slept" for 3 hours, then got ready for her big surgery. Still, laying in this bed, getting ready to go into the ER, she wants Mom to "smell her feet" and she has a HUGE grin on her face (her arm has been broken now for 18 hours!!!
arm 1

The wonderful attire that you get to wear if you are the fortunate one to accompany the child to the ER until she falls asleep. We'll never leave your side until you know you are safe little one. Oh, so the clothes scare you???? (remember Mom and Dad are running on little to NO sleep...and the "clothing" is not very flattering)!
arm 2

Coming out of surgery to.....one of the same nurses that we had post transplant!!! Amazing!!! However, this time she has juice...AND she gave me a PRETTY purple cast!!! OH, and my belly doesn't hurt:).
arm 4

As long as I have my buddy Elmo to help hold my arm up....life is GOOD!!!
arm 5

After I got out of the hospital...I got to see my friend Ronald McDonald...and I actually LIKED him this time!!!
arm 6

3 weeks later, my cast is off, and I'm back on my wild way! I'm running, jumping, and LOVING life:). My mom says that she wishes EVERYTHING was as easy as my broken arm:)!!!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Angels Among Us

I'm feeling a little emotionally empty right now. I never would have imagined that I would know so many children that would be gone from this Earth at such a young age. It just makes me wonder WHY? These children have struggled, they have fought such a difficult battle, still...they die? The parents are left to wonder time and time again what their child would be doing today...if only. Yes, you hear the typical..they are in a better place, they are not hurting anymore, they are with God. However, the parents are left here with a huge gaping hole in their hearts, and the big question....WHY? A parent is not supposed to bury their child. That is not the way it is supposed to be. It just makes me angry. It leaves me feeling helpless. What do you say to the parent that is grieving? I do not know what they are feeling. I have thought numerous times that I might become the person that would know what they are going through, fortunately my child is still here today. What do you say to the person that is living their worst nightmare? I'm so sorry just doesn't seem to cut it. Oh how I wish that I could turn the clock back for these parents and make the outcome for their sweet children different.

Godspeed Little Jackson and Dillon. May peace comfort both of your parents as they try to endure the pain of their loss.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Happy Halloween???

I hope that you all had a wonderful Halloween. Emma had so much fun! She was absolutely terrified of all of the masks, but she was so excited to be Elmo....and she was SO cute (not that I am partial at all). Here are a couple of pictures (if I can get them to work....Flickr has been a little temperamental lately).

This one was the day BEFORE the broken arm:). I was standing behind the camera, pointing to my chin, and telling her to smile. She is such an imitator:).
Emma Smiling

Thursday, October 26, 2006

I'll just say it

I'm just going to come right out and say it....while I'm feeling "brave"...my child has special needs. Just writing those words makes the tears jump right out of my eyes to flow down my cheeks. It's amazing! You'd think after 3 years of this my tear ducts would have dried up by now, but I can make my shirt go from dry to soaking wet on the top in 60 seconds flat. Yes, everyone knows that she has medical needs, but when will people figure out that she has "other needs" as well. OR, have they already figured it out...and they just don't say anything? It's amazing the havoc that it wreaks on my brain and my body day in and day out! I feel as if I have aged 20 years in the past 3 years. Yet, I love that girl just the way that she is. My fear is that the rest of the world may not accept her the way that I do....the way she deserves to be accepted. She has battled too much in her short little life to not be looked at with the highest regard! I will fight tooth and nail for that child....but, why should I have to....shouldn't that just be a given?

Just my random thoughts for the day:)

Friday, October 20, 2006

Which muppet would I be?????

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know.
You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems.
Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green.
Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

Monday, October 16, 2006

My Child's Name is EMMA!

Yet another visit to the hospital...another surgery under our belts....and more doctors pushing for Emma to be seen by the genetic team. Guess what folks....WE ARE NOT DOING IT!! I don't need someone to tell me that she is not talking yet. We have had every organ in her body inspected. Truly, what would a genetic team tell us that we don't already know? Yes, they may give a "name" to what she has, but I want my child to be known as Emma....not some name to a syndrome! True, that may be a part of who she is, but that does not define my child....END OF STORY!!!

The snow that I was so excited about in my last post turned into my nightmare. Soon after I posted my last entry I had walked into the kitchen, then I heard Emma crying. She had fallen off of the couch. I picked her up and tried to comfort her. It was a cry like I have never heard before. She would not move her arm and she screamed bloody murder and said, "OWWWWW" (a new word for Miss Em) anytime I touched it. So, I took her to our local ER and found out it was broken. We sat for 4 hours while they decided what to do. After talking to Denver about our last "simple procedure" (the one where Em crashed on the table and ended up in ICU), the anesthesiologist decided that he wasn't comfortable doing the surgery (she needed 2 pins put in). So, at 5:30 in the evening we left for our long journey to Denver (a 9 hour drive). The "beautiful" snow turned into horrible road conditions. At one point we had to drive 30 MPH for 60 miles! UGH!

Well, 3 nights in the hospital and a purple cast later Miss Em is on the mend. This stay in the hospital has made my heart feel a little more raw. That is the only word that I can describe. When you think of a broken arm you think of a "normal" kid thing, but having a 9 hour drive with doctors mentioning genetics on top of it just makes you realize that people cannot just accept that this is our "normal" for our little girl. Everytime I think that my heart is healing....someone else stabs me. I accept her for who she is, and I expect everyone else to do the same. Is that so wrong????

Monday, October 09, 2006

Winter is here?

I know that it seems a little early...but, I woke up this morning, looked out the window, and saw the soft white blanket covering the Earth. I love the snow! It makes everything look so fresh and clean. The cold.....something that I am not ready for quite yet, BUT they do go hand in hand...so, bring it on:).

We got to go out and brave the snow early this morning. Emma had to get her blood drawn. She was SUCH a big girl! She didn't even cry! WOW! I never thought I would see the day. Of course, I had her pick out her sticker and the kind of sucker she wanted before the blood draw. The tricks of the trade of a Mom who has to hold her child down time and time again.

Enjoy winter where ever you are. Yes, I'm sure that even Lisa is enjoying "winter" in Florida...with her 85 degree days:).

Saturday, October 07, 2006

That euphoric feeling.....

Do you ever get the strange feeling that you are an outsider looking in? (No, I do not have multiple personalities....do not call in the straight jacket). I went to Wal-Mart (sometimes I feel like I should just move my bed into that place). I went to get a prescription at the pharmacy....imagine that. All of a sudden Emma gets whisked off by the pharmacist to go behind the counter to see all of her "pharmacy buddies"...how many of us get to go back there? Then, 3 people start discussing Emma's hair saying things like, "I'll bet it's curly like that because_______, and I'll bet she gets the color from__________". Hello folks, how about if you just ASK HER MOM....who is OH YEAH standing RIGHT HERE!!! Hmmmmm?? Bizarre feeling!

Well, I get Emma back from her expedition and head to the front of the store. I chose the self check out. I get there to see an elderly lady looking curiously at the machine wondering, "where is the clerk". I explained to her that it is "self check out". She said, "Well, who checks you out". Guess who checked her out....Yes, it was me (I used to work at Wal-mart, right). Then, she wanted help with the money. So, I did that too. She said that I was an angel and she gave me a mint from her purse. As she was walking away she turned with a gleam in her eye and she said, "That child of yours smiles all the way through her eyes. Her heart is pure". Then she walked away?

Do you ever wonder why a certain chain of events happens all together? Do you ever wonder if you are just a pon on a gameboard? I know....the bizarre thoughts that go through my mind. Aren't you glad that you captured a glimpse of them tonight???

Thursday, October 05, 2006

1st day of preschool!

Well, we made it through the first day. The tears, and the drama......OK...they only came from me! LOL! Emma LOVED it! She was hugging all of her "friends" the minute they walked through the door (even though she had never met any of them). I honestly don't think she even noticed when we left. She had so much fun giving the dolls a bath and feeding them, playing with the cars on the race track, playing with the cars outside, having a snack, making a Chicka Chicka Boom Boom tree...whew! I thought she would fall down from exhaustion, but NO! She wouldn't even take a nap for me this afternoon!

It really was a great day all the way around. Tim and I dropped Emma off at school, then we went and did a presentation at the high school on organ donation. I felt really strong, but soon was moved to tears...and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to stop them (it was during an I-movie that I had made at the beginning. Luckily, by the end of the movie I had regained my composure, and we did a fantastic job (if I do say so myself...I mean it is definitely something that I feel confident talking about). We finished in time to have a nice lunch at a restaurant before we went to pick up Em. I felt like I was playing hookie from work (I guess I kind of was...I had taken a personal day).

When we went to pick Emma up she was still playing hard with her new friends. Ahhh, the innocence of children. They just see everyone as good. Isn't that the way it should be? What a wonderful day!

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Thursday, September 21, 2006

Was this how Van Gogh started?

Emma's therapists brought some large ink pads over the other day. They also brought many stamps thinking that Emma could do a "cute little stamping project". Emma took the 1st stamp and with a gleam in her eye she tossed it across the room. Then she proceeded to stick her entire hand on the stamp pad...and that is where the fun began. The therapists soon realized that the clothes needed to come off. So, Emma found a new joy in life. She had so much fun...as the pictures below will tell. She also made an awesome picture for our wall...far better than ANY stamps would have done!

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I'm thinking about sending Em's GI doctor this picture and asking him...."I'm pretty sure this isn't jaundice (from liver disease)...but, what would cause this discoloring of her stomach? LOL!!! This is actually her tummy....the finished product!!

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Van Gogh.....EAT YOUR HEART OUT!!! Do you think this is how he started??? HMMMMM?????

Monday, September 18, 2006

Go Broncos!

Emma is a true Bronco fan through and through thanks to Aunt Becky and Uncle Joe! We are pretty sure they won yesterday because their petite mini cheerleader was wearing the jersey. What do you think? Wouldn't you win a game if you saw that sweet face? Go Broncos!!!

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Sunday, September 17, 2006

3 Amazing Years

I awoke this morning with a dark cloud looming over me....and a strong pounding in my head that suggested maybe my alter ego went out last night and tied one on without me. As the day went on the headache subsided, but the cloud continued to follow me (isn't there a cartoon about that). While we were eating lunch it hit me like a ton of bricks.....it's been 3 years today. Why do I always remember these "anniversaries"? Today marks the anniversary of the beginning of a journey that we never signed up for. There were no road maps made for our travels. We began this journey with a blind fold on, and many days I feel like I still have it on. Yes, on September 17, 2003 we admitted Miss Emma to the hospital for the very first time.

I vividly remember pulling into the circular drive in front of The Children's Hospital while tears welled up in my eyes and proceeded to pour down my cheeks. This was followed by the sobs that racked my post partum body while I opened the back door of our car to remove the car seat which held our yellow baby with wondering eyes. She looked up at me as if to say, "Mama, what's wrong"...and that is how our journey began. That particular entrance at Children's Hospital still pains me to walk through. I hope to never experience that feeling again. The utter fear of the unknown that can take over your entire being.

The memory of walking through the halls, trying to find our way to a room that was on the other side of the construction zone. Without a map....it took patience that we did not have at the time. Finally we found it, and we weeped some more as we laid our precious 6 week old child in the crib. The crib that she would spend the next month of her life in. Those bars that I would look through to see my child with tubes and wires. My child who was trying to heal...with a liver that would not allow her to. Those bars were like a prison that had trapped us all in a time that I felt like my world was ending.

I remember feeling as if I were falling deeper and deeper into a dark hole. I worried each time that I went to sleep that I may not be able to climb out the next day, or worse that someone may tell me something else to push me further. The darkness encompassed my world. The pain of the unknown was my every breath. My entire body felt it.

Today is a day of memories. They are not the kind of memories that I want to have, but they are the memories that help me to cherish my child more than I ever knew I could. Those moments are a part of my child's history, and they have helped to make me who I am today. Before having Emma I never knew how strong I could be. The past 3 years have helped me to become a person that I am proud to be. Looking back, I can tell you that the past 3 years have been amazing!

Monday, September 11, 2006

From the Mouths of Babes!

My students were working on a project today (I teach a multi-age Kdg./1st grade class) when one of my kindergarten students said, "Mrs. F, how do you make ladybugs?". I said, "Real ladybugs?". He said, "Yes". I began to tell him that only nature can make real lady bugs. He was not convinced of this, so he said to me, "But, I WANT to make a ladybug". I continued to tell him that only nature could make ladybugs...it was just not something that we could do. He put his hands on his hips and he said to me, "WELL, MRS. F. YOU SAID WE COULD DO ANYTHING IF WE TRY HARD ENOUGH".

Just when you think they aren't listening....you realize that they really do hear EVERY WORD YOU SAY! The way they interpret things in the literal sense is something all of us could learn from the innocence of a child.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Life blooms as the flowers wilt away

Life is blooming here in our little corner of the world. When I look out my window there is a heavvy haze in the air from the brutal forrest fires that are taking their toll on our surrounding states, but looking past it I can see the leaves begin to turn the beautiful crimson and orange of the impending fall. Blooming...in the fall? I know that it may sound as if I have the seasons mixed up. Lord knows that in Wyoming when the seasons are changing we dare not blink before the next season is here. I do know the difference between fall and spring (after all...it is a 1st grade benchmarks).

I guess by "blooming" I mean within our household and within our lives. Life is finally just EASY...and I never thought that I would EVER be able to say that again (and I am knocking on wood vigorously...and using strong caution while typing this). Emma is blooming! I have come to the conclusion that once you have a child life really does cease to be about you any more....and when you have a sick child on top of it...well, just forget about life ever being about you again. However, I don't want it to be about me. I stand in her glory and look at her with awe. The obstacles that she has faced and overcome are inspiring....and she continually impresses me every single day. Yes, she is blooming. She is eating like a champ, she is using the big girl potty (with the assistance of the Elmo Potty video....and it is still not real consistant...but, I'll take what I can get), she is talking more and more every day, she has a strong will and determination that just flounders me!! AND....are you ready for this???....she is going to start pre-school!!

One day a week my little princess will go to pre-school. I'm SO excited!! She will start on Oct. 5....and yes, I already have her outfit (complete with matching shoes) picked out....are you surprised??

It amazes me how much more relaxed life can be when things are somewhat "normal" (I know Becky....normal is JUST a setting on the dryer). Life may never be everyone else's version of normal in our house, but I will enjoy our "easy" moments while I watch Emma bloom:).

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Rain girl????

After dinner this evening Emma wanted nothing more than to go for a walk with her new bike (for her birthday she got a tricycle that you can push like a stroller...it is GREAT), so we headed off to a nearby park. In the past Emma has liked the park, but when it was time to go she didn't make a big deal about it. Today things changed!

When we got to the park there were 3 other children there. Emma headed right to the swings. As I placed her in the swing the mom next to me (who was pushing her little boy in the other swing) asked the infamous question, "How old is she?" (innocent enough, right?). So, I answered, "She just turned three. She replied, "Oh, he will be 3 in February". OK....the child was a bruiser!! He was AT LEAST 10 pounds heavier than my tiny Miss Em:). Her child wanted down, and he ran off to play with the other 2 children. They all 3 climbed the slide by themselves and went down. I sat and watched in awe as I wondered if that would EVER be Emma? For one thing she is terrified of the slide, and she doesn't have the upper body strength to climb the slide yet. Next, Emma wanted to go on the merry-go-round, and she loved it, but I felt like the outsider as we played in one corner of the park while the other 3 children played together. It really made me sad.

However, after 2 of the children left the park there was only one little boy left. He came up to us and said, "My name is Dillon". I said, "It's nice to meet you Dillon, this is Emma". Emma kept pointing at Dillon saying, "Dillon" and pointing at herself and saying, "Emma". She loved playing with Dillon. She chased him around and followed him up the stairs (of a different slide that is a little easier....but, it was still a first for her).

Then, the wind started to blow. It blew and blew, and it began to get COLD! So, I told Emma it was time to go. She threw herself on the ground and kicked her feet. I looked around as if to say, "Whose kid is this??". So, I picked her up put her back on her bike (thank God there is a belt to buckle her on) and off we went.....and DOWN came the RAIN!!! It started raining within a block of leaving the park. I could see the look of pity from the passing cars as I just smiled at them. I really did find it quite amusing! Emma thought it was GREAT!! We were about a mile away from our house. When we had walked a little ways we came to a big tree, and we stopped to wait for the rain to pass. I was so amazed when 2 different cars stopped to ask if we needed a ride. It's so nice to know that there are good people out there! However, with the bike and all I said that I thought we could make it. Finally, it calmed a bit and we ran the rest of the way home with Emma saying, "WEEEEEE" all the way!! We pulled into the garage, and I helped her off her bike. I turned around and she was GONE!! Yes, you guessed it, she ran as fast as she could out of the garage to play in the "water" on the driveway. I think she would have played there all night, and the beauty to see her playing on nature's playground far outweighs the feeling that I would have felt if she were just a "typical" kid going down the slide with the other 3 kids at the park. Thank you rain for reminding me of the beauty of MY child:).

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Hi ho! Hi ho!! It's off to work.....

Tomorrow is the big day! My first day "on contract"...which translates to the first day that I am paid to be in my classroom. The first day that I have to be there from 7:45 until 3:45. It is so much earlier this year. Am I ready??? In some ways I am. I am ready to have a "schedule". I am a person who likes order. Granted, it is nice to have a few months to do whatever I want, whenever I want (well, whatever Emma wants), but I do look forward to a more structured life. I am also ready to have some adult interaction (other than Tim). It is wonderful to be with my husband 24/7 for 3 months, but I think we are both ready to be around other adults also.

Now, I am not in any way ready to take Emma back to the babysitter. I know that she will love it. She will not miss me AT ALL!! She absolutely LOVES her babysitter (and I am so thankful for that), but I will miss not being with her. I will even miss her naughtiness that has taken over lately (pinching, pinching, pinching).

Ready or not here it comes. I am very excited to see my students. I have the wonderful opportunity to have my students for 2 years in a row (I teach Kdg. and 1st grade). I really become attached to my kids, and I do miss them over the summer. I am also excited to get to know my new kindergarten students. Now, there are a couple of parents that could give me a run for my money, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there (and kill them with kindness)!

So, think of me tomorrow in my classroom up in the middle of the beautiful mountains....preparing for my 9 wonderful students who will enter my classroom next week and teach ME more in a year than I ever could imagine!

Monday, August 14, 2006

"Life Ain't Always Beautiful....."

Have you heard the song?? "Life Ain't Always Beautiful...But, it's a beautiful ride"....I'm not sure who sings this song, and I absolutely do not like the word ain't, BUT the song truly has good meaning. Life isn't always beautiful, but when you look back at the journey it is a beautiful ride. Yes, today I can say this. Emma is doing phenomenal...knock on wood (HARD)!! She has been 3 years old for 10 days now....and she is a "new" person. It is like a switch has suddenly clicked, we've turned the corner, I don't know what it is....BUT I am hoping that there is no turning back! She is eating....like crazy! I have waited for this day for 3 years...and I.AM.LOVING.IT!!! She is eating turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, peas, carrot, tortillas, cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, apples. She is just eating, and eating, and EATING!!! YYYIIIPPPPEEEE! And, you know what!!! If life HAD always been "beautiful"...if we had not had these eating issues....then I would not be able to appreciate the pure joy that I am experiencing these past 10 days! It is like she has been born all over again! My stress has been lifed, and I feel a sense of peace that I have not felt in 3 years. No, life may not always be "beautiful", BUT it is a beautiful ride! Let the journey continue! I just can't wait to see what is around the next corner. The view is just getting more and more spectacular:).

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

A Picture is Worth 1,000 Words

Innocent, sweet, beautiful child of mine. Words cannot describe the feelings I have for my girl. My husband took this picture the day before her 3rd birthday, and she looks so grown up. Emma, you truly are a beauty. Always keep the innocence my child!!

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Sunday, August 06, 2006

Now that she's 3......

I cannot believe that my baby girl turned 3 years old yesterday!! In so many ways it seems like just yesterday when we were having her. The memories are so vivid! However, with all that she has been through....I honestly think she should be about 25! Or is it just that I feel like I am 50 some days??? Either way, yesterday was a terrific day, and Miss Emma was SOOOO excited that it was her birthday. So, now that she is 3.....She has her own "wheels". Yes, Emma got a jeep AND a princess tricycle (complete with an overhead canopy, water bottle, and a bell). She also can swing in a "big girl swing" all by herself (occassionally lets go with one hand and scares the crap out of mom....but hey!). She can also climb up her jungle gym (this still requires SOME assistance from Dad due to extremely short legs...runs in the family...LOL!). She is growing up!! I'm not ready!

OH! And the first picture is her cake! Yes, I made it all by myself! Can you believe it??? Must mean that I am 33 years old...and officially a grown up......NO! I am not ready for that either:).

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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

August Thoughts (Ramblings)

I honestly cannot believe that August is here. I am just not ready, but no one asked me if I was ready or not. Here are some of my thoughts about August:

1) We have been married for 5 years this Friday! Some days it feels like 15 years. Is that a bad thing?? We have just been through SO much that it does not feel like it has "only" been 5 years. In many ways we are so very strong, but in other ways there is so much room for growth. I guess that is true for any marriage. I can still say that I am so lucky to have my husband, and I feel fortunate to be on this journey through life with him....has it REALLY only been 5 years???

2) My sweet baby girl will be 3 years old this Saturday! Some days it feels like she should be 15 years old also....but some days it feels like it has only been 15 months. It is such a weird feeling when your child has been through so much. I feel like we missed out on alot of the sweet cuddling times that are bittersweet for a first time parent. A new parent shouldn't have to make life decisions about their child within the first 2 months of life. BUT, that is our journey, and I wouldn't trade my little angel for anything!

3) I think I have finally reached the cliff in my journey (does that sound like a bad place to be?....it's not at all). I feel like I have been running through trees since Emma was born. I have been running and running and running and trying to find the answers. Then I have hit boulders that I have tried to move to make my life "better". I have fallen into large holes which I thought I would never be able to dig myself out of. Through all of this...the shadows from the trees have hung over me and I was having a difficult time seeing the beauty. However, I think I have finally come to the cliff. The sun is shining, all shadows are gone, and I see my life ahead of me. My life with a beautiful little girl who is the sunshine of my world. And I LOVE HER FOR WHO SHE IS....I am no longer trying to make her someone that she is not. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I am enjoying my summer with her SO much!

4) UGH!! School starts SOON! While Emma is so excited to go back to "Miss Joline" (her babysitter)...I am not ready to take her!!! I know that she will be in EXCELLENT care, BUT it will NOT BE ME! I know that if a Mom has to work....teaching is one of the best occupations of choice, BUT....I don't want to go back! I will adjust. I always do....and I am not sure I could be a 100% stay at home mom, so I completely enjoy being one for 3 months every year!

5) Thanks for taking the time to read my rambling thoughts! We are excited about Emma's party on Saturday. Wait till you see the cake pictures. We'll see if I can top last year's Elmo cake:). It was pretty impressive....so, we'll see!

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Hell's Angels Taking Over???

Our little town happens to be the lucky place for the 2006 world reunion of the Hell's Angels. A town of 10,000 is now also inhabitted by 2,000 hells angels. Our law enforcement has overeacted maybe just a little. We have 100 police cars, 2 helicopter surveilance, 25 DCI (Department of Criminal Intent), cops on motorcycles, undercover cops, etc. While this does ease the fears of the population...it may be just a bit of overkill. The thing that gets me is ALL of these law enforcement people are giving tickets for EVERY LITTLE THING including a man riding his bike too close to the sidewalk, many people have been cited for jaywalking, people have received tickets for having a crack in their windshield.

I am just in awe of all of the Hell's Angels, and it has made me wonder just exactly what their lifestyle is. There is not much information on the internet about them. I know they are the "bad boys" of the motorcycle clubs, but do they have jobs, families, etc? Some of them are ENORMOUS (some very tall, and some VERY round....although I would not want to tell them that!).

I have to laugh at Miss Emma however. Wouldn't it be nice to be a child again, and have no fear of people? She sees the Hell's Angels and she waves and smile.....turns even the meanest looking of men to absolute putty!

She just HAD to wear her motorcycle shirt today! Here she is "dreaming" about life in the fast lane! Have a GREAT week!

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Friday, July 14, 2006

A moment to reflect

My blog has been a little quiet lately. There are a few reasons for that.

First, it is simply amazing how a teacher who "has the summer off...ha, ha" can keep so incredibly busy!!! We have home projects, conferences, and oh yes...the almost 3 year old who I chase around all day long!

Second, it seems that every couple of months I go into a little bit of a funk for about a week. During this funk I just want to be by myself. Just ask my husband....I really am not myself. I find myself trying to sort things out...trying to figure out "why" to a question that I will never know. I continually beat myself up during that time for "what I should have done different during my pregnancy" (which includes not taking the medication that my OB prescribed that the pharmacist said "I've never heard of a pregnant woman using this"....but believing that "my OB knew best"...why didn't I question that more???? Or maybe when my OB prescribed some med for a yeast infection during my 1st trimester...which I later read in the handout enclosed "not to be used in the 1st trimester of pregnancy"...why didn't I read that earlier???? Again, I THOUGHT that my OB knew what was best! Or, maybe it was just the lime frenzy that I went on in my 1st trimester! I ate 3 limes a day...just peeled them and ate them like oranges. They were so sweet...UGH! HMMMM?? I will question all of these things until the day that I die.....then, I will have my list of questions ready for "the man upstairs"!!

Third, anytime that Emma goes through a vommiting bout is very very bad for my mental status! I just cannot handle it. I went for 2 1/2 years of having her vomit between 1-4 times a day. In April we finally figured some things out, and she went almost 2 months without throwing up at all. Then, KABOOM! It starts again...WHY!!!! I cannot even begin to explain how much better my emotional well being was during that 2 mths!!! So much less stressful! So, I took bananas out of her diet 3 days ago....and....no vomitting!!! I think she now has an allergy to bananas (along with dairy, soy, rice, wheat, eggs, nuts, and shellfish....sigh!). As long as I know what it is....I CAN handle it:).

And, last but not least, forth... I can only blame it on scrapbooking! AND, to scrapbook...you must have pictures. So, of course I have been taking many pictures of Miss Em. I thought I would share one with you. During my "funk" I had one day where I just couldn't quit crying. So, I loaded Em into the car and we went to the river. It is amazing how calming flowing water can be to the soul. Emma loved it!!

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Friday, June 30, 2006

Enjoying summer

Emma and I have been enjoying the summer sun while Daddy teaches classes in the afternoon. Today is his last day of teaching, then we can all have fun together. Last summer seems like so long ago when I think about how much Emma has grown and changed. At this time last year Emma was not walking on her own, which made any kind of yardwork extremely difficult! If we stepped more than 10 feet away from her she would scream. She just wanted to be a part of the action. She is such a wonderful helper, and this year she has the chance to help in every way. We have been planting a rock garden with a few plants disbursed throughout. Emma is so great at taking the plants OUT after I have put them IN the hole! She also loves to take the dirt and throw it around the black plastic to create her masterpiece (thankfully there is the Shop Vac)! We really have enjoyed Emma this summer. She loves to pick the very green apples off of our trees and eat them (EEEWWWW!! They are SO sour...but, she loves them). The slide is her newest love. She has a little one that she can completely do on her own, but now she has moved onto the BIG slide, which is just hilarious when Mom goes down with her....again....and again....and again....and again! It just amazes me to watch our little peanut walk all the way back to the back of our property with us (only an acre, but a HUGE feat for those tiny legs). She is just such a trooper.

As always, here are some pictures! Enjoy!

Here is Emma, on a cooler day, picking flowers for her Mom:

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Emma's new found love....her sprinkler:

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I just had to capture the little princess that FELL ASLEEP on her big wheel! She was just SO tired!

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And, last but definitely NOT least. Emma's newest "friend"...and my newest "enemy". The deer LOVE the flowers that we have planted in the rock garden (the black plastic you see in the picture will be covered with rocks...that is our rock garden). Now, most of our yard is behind the fence (the fence is to keep Emma in), and the deer have NEVER come inside the fence until this summer.

When I come to the door and BOOM there they are...they scare the crap out of me!!! However, Emma thinks they are fantastic, and she loves it when they come to visit her! I think the deer in this picture is thinking about riding Miss Em's big wheel!

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Thursday, June 29, 2006

Waiting for "the shot"

We drove 10 hours (one way) last weekend just to get a shot so Emma would be less likely to contract the chicken pox virus. In the car Emma was the happiest child. She laughed, played, and thought that we were going on a family vacation! We felt like we were taking her to the slaughter house! We knew that the shot was going to be very painful, but it had to be done.

Here is Emma waiting outside the hospital (with her Havalah duck) for them to come to get her (since she is immunosuppressed they do not want her in the germy waiting room....and neither do I):

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Here is Em's fashion statement for the week:). I think everyone will start wearing these soon:

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Waiting in the ER room, Emma is practicing her karate kicks (don't ask me where she comes up with this stuff). She kicks her leg and says, "Hiya!" Too cute!

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They gave her the shot, she cried for about a minute, the nurse gave her stickers, and she stuck them all over her body while she laughed like crazy. Silly girl....you've gotta love her:).

Monday, June 26, 2006

More vacation pictures

Sorry, it has been awhile since I said I would post more pictures. We had to go on a whirlwind trip this weekend to get Miss Em a shot so she would not get chicken pox. We were gone from home for 50 hours (19 of which we spent in the car). Whew!! It's good to be home!!

Well, when we went on vacation we went to the zoo. It was a fantastic zoo!! Emma loved it! They had a turtle that looked just like me:

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Emma loved it so much she just had to go give that turtle a BIG "mooch". I'm pretty sure the turtle loved it too.

Then, we went to the butterfly garden. WOW!! It was amazing! They had 500-600 butterflies. They were everywhere! Here was a really pretty one:

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Emma had this one land on her leg. She thought that was SO funny, but I was impressed by how still she sat.
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This one liked my hair!
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We ended the day with a ride on the carousel. Em was definitely NOT sure about this one when I put her on it, but she warmed up to the idea quickly...then she was in full parade-waving mode!
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Bigger than she is

It is true that Miss Emma attracts the attention! A simple glance at a person and she can make anyone smile. She has this aura around her that glows. Even someone who is having a really bad day cannot help but smile when they look at Miss Em. When we are in the front yard Emma has to wave at every car that passes by on the street...and most of them wave back at her.

I was talking to my aunt on the phone the other day. My aunt lives very far away. She has only met Emma one time...right after she was extubated in the hospital in April. Em was a bit groggy when my Aunt Tammy walked into the room, but Emma say up, smiled at her visitor, and waved hello. They played together for quite a while. When I was talking to Tammy on the phone she said that "Emma just makes the whole room glow". I said, "yes, she gets noticed everywhere she goes...I think it's the hair". Tammy said, "Her hair is as big as her personality". I think they are both bigger than she is.

Friday, June 23, 2006


The words that I was yelling as I cleaned up vomit from Miss Em's tray right after she had just finished eating her entire lunch! Now, I guess this is a step in the right direction for me because this is the first time that I have even spoken to "THE MAN UPSTAIRS" for quite some time. I know....turn your troubles to God....well, I have tried that and it didn't work. I would like to know exactly why He keeps dishing out the bad stuff to my kid!!! Mentally I just cannot go back to the puking all of the time thing, and believe me....that is where we are headed AGAIN! Every single day this week Emma has puked. I can't do it. I have no Calgon....what is a Mom to do????

If your reading this and want to give me some inspirational words about God....please don't! I am just angry right now. I am angry that my child had a liver disease. I am angry that my child had to have a liver transplant and will be on medication for that for the rest of her life. I am angry that the nieve parenting that I am supposed to be experiencing has been robbed from me. I am angry that my child still is not speaking. I am angry that my child cannot eat like a "normal" child. I am angry that my child is allergic to so many things. I AM JUST FLAT OUT ANGRY!!!!!

Hah!! We just got a call that Emma was exposed to chicken pox last night! Now we are on the hunt for some nasty shot that she has to have to lessen the chances of a major outbreak (because chicken pox in a child that has had a transplant can be a very very bad thing....and NO she cannot have the vaccine for it because it is a live vaccine that can also be harmful to her)... oh goody! SOMETHING ELSE TO BE ANGRY ABOUT!

Sorry....I know....it's a very negative post....but, these are my true feelings for the day:).

Monday, June 19, 2006

Vacation all I ever wanted!

Sing with me now....Vacation happy to get away.....!

We went on our very first (since Emma was born), non hospital related in any way, vacation a couple of weeks ago. It was wonderful!! I am still recovering (and so is our washing machine), but it truly was a memorable trip. Amazing that I can still say that after 24 hours in the car with a two year old...and my mother in law:). It really was GREAT!!

So, my next few posts will be trip related. I had to start with our first night....in a motel...on our way to Uncle Steve's house. Can you tell that Miss Em was too excited to sleep?

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This was how Emma felt about our first hiking adventure of the trip. Come on Em! After all....you do have the correct footwear (extremely important for any 2 year old).

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I think Emma is saying to us, "You are taking me WHERE?". I love it!! Em is obsessed with sunglasses and cellphones. Can you say 2 going on 20?

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Sunday, June 18, 2006

Happy Father's Day

I knew the moment that I saw Miss Em's face this morning. She knew it was a special day. As she rubbed her tiny hands over her sleepy eyes, she smiled at me, and pointed to the room across the hall and said, "Daddy???" as if to question..."Mom, is he there? Is he having a good day?". So, I scooped the little princess from her bed to go and give her Daddy big mooches, and he accepted without hesitation! The two of them layed in bed together while I made a big breakfast...and that is how our Father's Day began!

Today is a special day for all men out there. Men who are Father's, men who will be Father's, men who have been Fathers, and men who will never be a Father but have made an impression on someone's life. After all a Father is an impressionable figure in one's life. My Dad has always been there for me, and I know he always will be. He has taught me that life can be tough, but it is what we make of the difficult moments that matter. How true that is. He has said to me, "People may not remember what happened, but they will know who you have become because of it". A very profound statement that I heard many years ago. It has stayed with me, and I now know the TRUE meaning of it.

Yes, my Dad probably has every one of his gray hairs on his head because of me. I did give him a run for his money in my teenage years, but in return he gave me unconditional love.

They say that you look to marry someone who is similar to your own Dad. In my case I think that is true. There are many similarities, although there are also many differences. I am glad that Tim possesses many of the same qualities that my Dad has. I know that he will raise Emma to be a strong and independent person, while letting her lead the way to her own destiny.

On this Father's Day I would like to thank my Dad, my husband, and all of the men out there who are making a positive difference in someone's life.

Happy Father's Day Dad and Tim! You both deserve only the best!!!

Friday, June 16, 2006

Living a Day in the Life

Is it typical to feel the darkness looming over your shoulder every day....to never feel that you don't have anything to worry about? I am beginning to think that it is very typical. Yes, I have a child with on-going medical issues, and I find myself continually going to her room at night to hear the sweet sound of her breathing. I cringe at every sneeze wondering if it could be "the one" to send us back to "Club West Park Hospital" (our "spa" of choice). I take her temperature at least 2 times a day...just to make sure that the germy creatures are keeping at bay. I KNOW that the darkness looms. It follows me everyday and everywhere that I go.

However, in my thoughts lately I have been trying to understand the darkness that others may have looming. Every person that we encounter day to day does have some darkness that looms. The rude cashier at Wal-Mart....maybe her boyfriend is abusing her and she has nowhere to turn. The mother that yells at her child in public without even thinking about the child's feeling....maybe she lost her job. The worried face of the person that you pass on the street....maybe she just found out that her child needs her tonsils removed. NOW, this last one used to really annoy me. It's just her tonsils lady...it's not like it's an organ transplant. After some serious thought I have come to the realization that what a person is going through at the time could be the BIGGEST thing they have EVER gone through....and that is HUGE!! A parent that has never had a child in the hospital would be overwhelmed at the thought of having tonsils removed.

Miss Em and I went to lunch with a friend the other day. I had already fed Emma before we left home, but she wanted some goldfish crackers. I had forgotten her bib, but I figured that she would be fine. Well, guess what!! She was not fine! Somehow that goldfish found a way to make Emma gag, and you guessed it, up it came. Of course she coughed first, and being the experienced puke master momma that I am I knew what was coming. So, I put on my official puke master mama cape and flew into the rescue!!! I swept her out of the highchair, flew past the people staring at me, and ALMOST made it to the bathroom. With just a little puke on the floor I managed to get most of it into the sink in the bathroom (and NONE on Em or myself!!!...now tell me that some "amateur" parent could pull that one off:). I realized as I came out of the bathroom that yes some people might have been staring, but you know what I DIDN'T CARE!!! All I thought was, "They just need to live a day in the life". Then I realized that maybe I should live a day in the life of anyone that I judge throughout the day also! Really, there is no such thing as an "easy life". Everyone has their own challenges, but the rewards that I get from my "challenging life" are.... the beautiful voice of Miss Emma saying, "Mamama" anytime she gets hurt (because only Mom can fix it), getting to have unlimited kisses from the most fascinating child that I have ever seen, and being allowed to be the mother to one of the most extraordinary creatures that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

The darkness does loom, but the light that I continue to walk in will be my reward.

Friday, May 26, 2006

You're NOT the boss of me!!

It will never cease to amaze me how quickly children find their "own" personality. As a parent you think, "This child is made from the genes of her father and myself...therefore she is a mixture of the two of us"....yeah right!!! Think again! Emma is 100% truly, uniquely, you've gotta love her, HERSELF!! AND, she WILL let you know that SHE is the one that makes the rules!

Those of you reading this that do not personally know me may think that I am a parent that just lets my child do what she wants to. You may think that I do not discipline, or I am lazy. I challenge anyone to take a good look at their own child and tell me that their child does every single thing that you tell him to. It's not possible. They are all so unique. What a wonderful thing!! Yes, I did say that it was a wonderful thing that my child does not listen to me ALL of the time. I want her to have her own thoughts and feelings about things. I want her to have the power to say NO! I want her to think something over before she makes a committment to do it.

Yes, Emma is 2 and she does not listen to everything that I say. Is she a brat? No way!!! Do I ever feel like banging my head against the wall? You bet I do! But, when I see that strong will showing through those beautiful eyes I stop and think to myself, "she IS going to be OK! No matter what this world throws at her...she will conquer it. She has the almighty determination".

Check it out:

This is the look I give when I don't get my way

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"You can't make me!"

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"No way am I going to smile for that camera Mama!"

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Thursday, May 25, 2006

American Idol's Biggest Fan?

Miss Emma has found a new love of her life....and his name is Elliot Yamin. Yes, he is ENTIRELY too old, and in my opinion not the most attractive:)....but, he does have talent! We have watched American Idol since the beginning of this season. This is the first time that we have watched the show. It has been so amusing to watch Emma while the show is on. She may be having a tea party (with her giant stuffed Elmo of course), putting a puzzle together, coloring, etc., BUT when Elliot comes on to sing...WATCH OUT!!! Emma makes a bee line for the little basket (that has somehow become her seat), and she will watch from the beginning to the end of Elliot's song. Then she will clap, stand up and clap, then she is off to bigger and better things.....until he comes on to sing again.

The last 2 weeks (since Elliot was booted off) Emma has not been interested in watching at all.....until last night! The return of Elliot to the finale sparked a new flame in Miss Emma's eye! She was SO excited! Here's a pic of Emma watching Elliot...SO CUTE!!!

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Now, my PERSONAL favorite was Chris!!! Great voice, and not so bad on the eyes either:). However, I guess Emma and I both had something else in mind for our American Idols!!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

A Turtle on His Back??

This evening I ran into an old friend. This man retired last year at a fairly early age. He was a hard worker all of his life, and like all of us, he looked forward to retirement. So, he retired at the early age of 61....only to have a massive stroke the very next day! Today was the first time that I have seen him since the day before he retired, and as I walked away from our conversation tears streamed down my face. I had asked him how he was. His reply, "I feel as if I have died. I feel like a turtle that is on his back. I cannot flip over, and no one can help me....but, at least I can finally walk again". An entire year after his stroke and he is finally able to walk.

I found myself wondering "WHY"? Why was this path chosen for this man who was so full of life?

I drove home and found my husband talking to our new neighbor. He had his little boy with him. Emma was SO excited to see a little friend at our house. She chased him up and down the driveway...then he chased her. It was so much fun to see her little face light up. Then, his Mom came over to join us. He ran up to her and said, "Mom, this is my friend"! My heart nearly burst to hear someone else call my little Emma his "friend". Emma's friend is an entire year younger than Emma.

Wow! So great that Em has a friend, but I do hope that one day she can tell me (with words) that he is her friend too.

Interesting, the neighbor Mother was in awe as I told her Emma's story. She said over and over, "I don't know how you got through it". HMMMM? That's a question that I have asked myself. I truly do not believe that it was ME going through everything. I know that sounds odd...and NO I do not have multiple personalities (I don't think). However, whenever Emma has gone through anything BIG I have just felt like I was standing outside of it all watching. Afterward the emotions are definitely within me...but I am numb to it. It is not until MUCH later that the reality hits. At THAT point I have to deal with it. So, at the time where everyone else thinks that all is well again....Emma's Mom is going through HER emotional crisis. Yes, that is the way it works with me. But, I put on the "happy" face, and pretend that I am just doing great! How do I get through it??? Any way that I can! This is the ONLY child that I have....this is ALL that I have ever known as a parent....and all that I do know is that if I do not have to "go through it anymore" then I know that I am going to be "going through something MUCH worse" because my child would no longer be here.

Yes, these are my random thoughts for the day. Ultimately, I guess that we are all a bunch of turtles. Sometimes we do land on our backs. Sometimes others help to turn us back over, and sometimes you just stay there on your back for a while thinking...."OH CRAP...why is this happening to me?".....hopefully we will ALL walk again:).

Thursday, May 04, 2006

The Impossible

Maybe "fate" is trying to tell me something. The last 3 mornings when Emma and I have gotten in the car the same song has been on the radio. It is the song "Impossible". The chorus goes like this:

Unsinkable ships sink
Unbreakable walls break
Sometimes the things you think will never happen
Happen just like that

Unbendable steal bends
when the fury of the wind is unstoppable
I've learned to never underestimate....the impossible!

It is ironic to have the SAME song on the radio every time that you enter the car for 3 days in a row. However, it is also strange that I am currently reading the book titled Impossible...by Danielle Steel (granted...it does not have the deep rooted meaning that the chorus to the song does....it is a mindless read and right now that is what I need).

Then, as I was driving into town today I saw a billboard that said in bold letters:

Is lightening going to strike me down next??

I have seen the possible happen when it seemed as if it were truly impossible due to the circumstances. Emma was 10 pounds when she received a liver from a 17 year old that weighed 115 pounds. Possible?? You bet it was...my sassy little princess is shear proof that it is entirely possible!

BELIEVE BELIEVE BELIEVE!! I do believe there is a higher power that leads us in the direction of our destiny. I have thought about this so much lately.

Next week we have Miss Emma's yearly IEP meeting. I truly despise these meetings. I feel as if they are set up simply to tell a parent how far behind their child is from the "norms". Now, my child does not and never has fit into the "norms". It is not "normal" for an infant to turn yellow at 3 weeks of age...and be crying tears of gold at three months. It is not normal for a 7 month old child to need a new liver in order to see her 1st birthday. However, the sparkle in her eye when she sees a bird land on a tree is very "normal". The way she sleeps with her little hands folded together (as if she is praying) and tucked under her sweet little face is "normal". The way that she walks is NOW "normal". She colors, stacks things, follows directions....all very normal. In those ares she has caught up to her "normal" peers. However, what her IEP will focus on is her speech. Do I seriously WANT to know what her age equivalent is for her speech? Exactly what does that do to the pride of parenthood when you know that your child is by no means "normal" in that area? Do they REALLY need to TELL me that? SIGH!!! HELLO folks....It is more than POSSIBLE that Emma's speech is going to be OK one day...you just have to BELIEVE!

My quote for the day: A child may only be a person in the world, but that child may be the world to a person.

Is your child your world??? I know that mine is, and I know that she is such an important part of the world of so many others. I've learned to never underestimate....the impossible!

Monday, April 24, 2006

Reality Is......

I entered Emma's room this morning to find her in her usual spot. All curled up in the corner of her bed with her bottom way up in the air. My only thought was, "She's here with me!! She is here in her bed...in our house...with ME"! I gladly got all of her supplies ready to give her a breathing treatment. As I propped her sleepy body up against the pillow to put the mask on her face, her tiny little head started shaking from side to side (as if to say No Mommy...it's too early...let me sleep just a bit longer). After finished I happily went to draw up the 4 medications for the morning and mixed her milk (which now requires 3 different supplements to be added). During the time I was doing this, Miss Emma had crawled into a different corner of the bed, both hands on her face, face down, with her bottom up in the air. I woke her up again to take her beloved medicine. However, the medicine that she used to love has now been added to the regiment of nasty tasting medications! Sips of milk in between and the medicine is gone. Next I got Emma dressed and ready to go (including packing all of her "new" things to go to the babysitter...Epipens, thickening agents, caloric additives, etc.). I put Em into the car and we head out to the babysitters (the 30 min. drive). As we drive down the road to Miss Joline's house Emma starts to clap and cheer...happiness at it's best...what a great joy to know that she is in such great care!

As I went to get Emma out of the car...HUGE pile of you know what...all over the car seat, all over her clothes, all over her coat...UGH! I am overjoyed to take her in to the sitters house, clean her up, then clean up the car seat.

You may wonder why I am so happy to do all of these time consuming activities. The activities that I know that most parents do not endure on a daily basis. The reason I am so overjoyed to do these is because I GET to do these things. Last week, on this very day of the week, my reality was that I may not be taking my baby home. When that hits you in the face...you learn to enjoy even more than you ever have before... even the most cumbersome activities...as long as they include your child.

My reality today is that my child is here with me! She will brighten my day today, and I will be there to help her with ANYTHING that she needs! She is the light of my life. In some ways I wish every parent could experience what I did last week. It truly helps to appreciate every aspect of your child.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


Wow!! That is one word that sums up the past week. At times I have felt like I was run over by a truck, thrown in a washing machine during spin cycle, and completely hung out to dry (sometimes all 3 of these....AT THE SAME TIME). It amazes me how one can feel utter anguish one day, and complete joy the next.

Emma had a "procedure" done on Easter morning. This was her 3rd "procedure" to be done...in a week (under sedation and intubation). We were slightly fearfull but reassured by the doctor that, "I have done 120 of these...and I have never had one go bad"....let's just say HE WON'T BE SAYING THOSE WORDS AGAIN!!

We sent Emma off with the nurse that morning..only to be approached by the doctor 20 minutes later. A look of terror on his face that I will never forget as he said, "She did not do well"....immediate reaction was that they lost her! Complete anguish overtook my body as I sobbed and sobbed while the surgeon attempted to console me. They had stabilized her, but it was pretty touch and go...and she was to remain intubated as we took a journey to the PICU.

Thought for that day....that was the worst feeling that I have EVER had!!

The next day they attempted to extubate Emma right as my husband and I walked into the room. I looked at the monitor and saw that her O2 SAT was 37%...NOT GOOD!! Then I made the extreme mistake of looking at my child!!

Thought for the moment...that was the worst thing that I have EVER seen!!

Emma was able to stay off of the ventilator, but it was very scary for a couple of hours!

Today she woke up ready to take on the world! She is almost off of oxygen, and the joy to see her awake and interacting is one that I cannot put into words.

Thought for the day...enjoy every breath that you take...every moment that you live, and really learn to appreciate the WOW moments! Seeing my baby girl smile today was one of those WOW moments!

Friday, April 14, 2006

Completely Drained!

I am going to start by saying that I am going to whine quite a bit in this post. So, if you don't want to listen to a pathetic Mother whose child has been through the ringer this week...then go ahead and exit out of this post.

Now, for those that stayed to "hear" me whine...here goes:

Parenting is not supposed to be like this! In the past week I have:

1) Held my child while 20 needles where poked in her back (to check for allergies)
2) Watched her be put to sleep by "laughing gas" twice so she could undergo procedures(which included a total of 7 IV attempts...yes, 7...she looks like an IV drug user!).
3) Experienced the pain right along with her of 3 blood draws
4) Answered numerous questions about my pregnancy, our living situation, our pets, her development, what size underwear I wear (OK...I'm exagerating there)...only to turn around and answer the EXACT SAME FRICKIN QUESTIONS AGAIN 5 MINUTES LATER...then again 5 minutes after that!! READ the CHART people!!!
5) Held her down for 3 X-rays
6) Soothed her time and time again while she screamed bloody murder
7) removed blood from my brand new white shirt (her nose was bleeding excessively after a sinus biopsy)
8) Held her down while they did a catheder to obtain a urine specimen...and right after that they did a nasal suction (tube WAY up the nose) to obtain a "booger" specimen!

Yes, I am exhausted..and I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. My child is admitted into the "dark abyss" otherwise known as the hospital. While it is a wonderful place and I am so glad that it is there...I don't want US to have to be there. And, to top it all off...we STILL don't know why Emma is sick this evening. SIGH!! As we head into the weekend when the hospital turns into a ghost town...we patiently wait for Monday as Doctors will emerge once again into daylight...hopefully with a very bright and cheery insight for us! Until then...I am feeling a "little" BLUE!!!

Thanks for listening! Here's a great picture of my little princess!! I pray for her to look this healthy and happy again very soon!!

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Friday, April 07, 2006

Hospital "Fun" pictures

Princess Emma had a fine time this hospital stay. She is once again feeling like royalty, and we cherish the time that she feels good! I swear that she has to make a visit to the hospital every few months to get "pampered". I keep telling her "Honey, we could get pedicures, go to Bath and Body works, go shopping for crying out loud...there ARE other ways to pamper yourself!

Well, Grandparents came through in our little Princess' eyes! She got a Barbie purse full of a BARBIE CELL PHONE (that "really" calls Barbie...it's a flip phone and it does look real), 3 necklaces, bracelets, make-up, and A WATCH! This was the big hit with Emma! She thought that it was the greatest! It even came with 3 watch bands! She had to wear it every day and show it to everyone that entered the room. Here are a couple of pictures of the great Barbie watch:

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Finally, our little Princess needed some rest, so Daddy put her in between the pillows while she was watching the alltime favorite...Elmo...and off to dream land she went! Sweet dreams Princess!!

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Pictures ????

The day before Emma was admitted to the hospital...we went roller skating! It was SO much fun! They let me take her out in her umbrella stroller. She loved it!! This first picture may be sideways (sorry, I tried everything to get it to go the right way?)

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This is Emma showing her "serious" face...she's so silly!

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How does this "Hokie Pokie" thing work??

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When we got home she practiced riding her horse. Try telling her that horses aren't pink...HA!

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