Tuesday, April 18, 2006


Wow!! That is one word that sums up the past week. At times I have felt like I was run over by a truck, thrown in a washing machine during spin cycle, and completely hung out to dry (sometimes all 3 of these....AT THE SAME TIME). It amazes me how one can feel utter anguish one day, and complete joy the next.

Emma had a "procedure" done on Easter morning. This was her 3rd "procedure" to be done...in a week (under sedation and intubation). We were slightly fearfull but reassured by the doctor that, "I have done 120 of these...and I have never had one go bad"....let's just say HE WON'T BE SAYING THOSE WORDS AGAIN!!

We sent Emma off with the nurse that morning..only to be approached by the doctor 20 minutes later. A look of terror on his face that I will never forget as he said, "She did not do well"....immediate reaction was that they lost her! Complete anguish overtook my body as I sobbed and sobbed while the surgeon attempted to console me. They had stabilized her, but it was pretty touch and go...and she was to remain intubated as we took a journey to the PICU.

Thought for that day....that was the worst feeling that I have EVER had!!

The next day they attempted to extubate Emma right as my husband and I walked into the room. I looked at the monitor and saw that her O2 SAT was 37%...NOT GOOD!! Then I made the extreme mistake of looking at my child!!

Thought for the moment...that was the worst thing that I have EVER seen!!

Emma was able to stay off of the ventilator, but it was very scary for a couple of hours!

Today she woke up ready to take on the world! She is almost off of oxygen, and the joy to see her awake and interacting is one that I cannot put into words.

Thought for the day...enjoy every breath that you take...every moment that you live, and really learn to appreciate the WOW moments! Seeing my baby girl smile today was one of those WOW moments!


LCRsMom said...

What scary moments...my thoughts are with you!

Anonymous said...

Wow, what a difficult experience. I hope Emma is doing much better today, my thoughts are with you as well.

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Moreena said...

OK, that doctor needs to work on his communication skills a bit. Whenever the doctors come out to tell us that something didn't go quite right, they always say first, "She's OK," just so we don't have to have the moment of panic when we think the bad news is really the worst of all.

Solidarity, you know. Wishing you more "wow."

Irene said...

Praying for Sweet Emma.

Carol T. said...

Wow you guys has really been through it this last week. Have been keeping in touch and have been praying for everyone . My thoughts and prayers are still with you all. Hope things continue to look up and will be headed home soon. Love and Prayers

Patyrish said...

Okay, okay I know, I keep saying it but this entry REALLY got to me. Makily had a very similar problem and I felt the SAME panic you described....I stayed in the room when she was being extubated once because I couldnt stand the thought of leaving her. It was one of the WORST hours of my life watching her fight to breathe and hearing them say they wanted to re-intubate her because she was struggling so hard

When I read that Emma's sats were 37% my heart skipped a beat.....you must have been MORTIFIED.
I am so happy that she is on the mend and doing better. Is is TOTALLY amazing how she is smiling and being herself today. She surely has a fighting spirit. God gives these kids "a little extra" to get them through.
Love and prayers your way.