Wednesday, October 29, 2008

In My Daughter's Eyes

We found out about a month ago that Emma needs glasses. As silly as it has been difficult for me to accept. It's one more thing that is "different", a permanent change in the beautiful face that melts my heart every time that I look at it. The fact that it took so long for them to get the frames in (they had to order them for her tiny, pixy little face), didn't break my heart. I was OK with waiting more days, so I could see that face...that part of me that I helped to create for just a little longer without anything disrupting my view.

However, yesterday was the BIG day. Emma was so excited, and by that point I was too. I was excited to see how she would SEE the world. Her eyes were so bad that everything was a blur. I knew the glasses were going to open up a whole new world for my little girl. I had no idea.....

As my sweet pea climbed into the chair the song..."In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride (it is playing now) began to play. What a euphoric feeling it was...another leg to our journey. She truly is my hero. All that she has been through...and she has been guiding me this entire time. It's uncharted territory for me, but she takes it like a pro and takes me with her. When the glasses were placed on her face she started walking around the room saying, "WOW!! MOMMY!!!". The staff had a good giggle while I held back the tears. The happy tears of hope. Hope that this new world that has opened up for my hero will bring even more progress to her quickly progressing skills...even more joy to her everyday joyous world.

She's had the glasses for a day, and when I looked at her while she was sleeping tonight I knew that something was missing. Already her glasses are a part of her. They are the part that help her to see how wondrous the world is. The world that is endless for her.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

So Proud of Myself:)

Take a look at my new blog design...what do you think? Pretty impressive, huh? I am LOVING it!!! Hopefully tomorrow will bring a full update on Miss Em's newest addition to her face:). I'll leave you with that thought right now. Oh, and she's telling everyone how she is "SO CUTE". I'd personally have to agree!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Ditching being a mom

I had a meeting this afternoon, so I had to be away from school. This is the first time that Emma has been with a substitute teacher. I'm hoping that she did well. It's our music teacher who is subbing for, she does know all of my kids. Well, my meeting got done really early, and Emma knew that she was going to daycare after school. She LOVES going to daycare because #1 she gets to ride the bus all the way to town and #2 she gets to see her BFF Brindi (Brindi is only 4 and will be coming to our school next year). So, naturally when my meeting was dismissed early I knew that I couldn't go to pick her up too early. I decided to come home and spend some much needed...never found quality me time. I have ONE blissful hour for just me! AHHHHH!!! Why is it that I'm feeling a touch guilty about it?? Granted, it makes sense why I'm not picking Emma up, but I'm feeling a bit guilty about Owen. Here's my reasoning there....this is his naptime. Naptime is very much needed at the almost age of 6 months (can you believe that he's that old already?).

So, I'm off to enjoy my blissful hour....although now it is only about 50 minutes. AHHHH, I'm hearing bubbles from the bathtub calling my name!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

How Do You Cope??

That is my question to the readers of this blog (I'm not sure how many read this, but please please please post if you do). We all have challenges in life, so everyone has coping mechanisms, right? What is yours?

My main one is finding the little things. Like today, I had Emma "help" me make cookies. We made sugar cookies (with no egg....egg allergy kiddo) and fully decorated them with true milk of magnesia pink icing...ooohh laaa laaa! I decorated them after she went to bed. She will be so excited to see them in the morning. What a great way to start my week...seeing the look on her face.

When Em started school I began putting a note to her on her napkin every day. Every time that I did it I wondered who would read it to her (I'm not usually in the lunchroom)...would anyone? I wondered if I should continue to do it. After all, she can't read it. Then, I decided YES I am going to continue. I am going to continue to know in my heart that someone is reading it to her and it is brightening her day, and guess what....a little part of it is just for me. Because, if my child were a "typical" kiddo...this is what I would do every day. I need to do it for me...and for Emma too.

My little thing every night is to take a bath and read. It is my one luxury that I look forward to once both my kids are in bed, the dishes are done, lunches are made, and we are ready to hit the ground running the next day.

What is your coping mechanism?

Friday, October 17, 2008

The differences

I hope that both of my children read this one day. I hope that they know that the differences between their first years of life are like apples and night and day. I hope they know that there is absolutely no way to compare the two experiences. Yet, I also hope they know that I wouldn't change either experience...or the order in which they happened. I love both of them with all of my heart and soul....and I truly hope that they always know that.

The first year with Emma was like a whirlwind. I was thrown into headfirst....and I had to wait until it stopped spinning to be able to balance again and see what was ahead. We had many people helping us through the first year, and I will never be able to thank those people enough. We were told many times by the doctors that they were not sure she was going to live, yet she did...and everytime she made me so much stronger. Before Emma I never knew how strong I could be. I also never knew I would be so knowledgeable! I have learned more than I ever wanted to know about the liver, allergies, how speech develops, and how children learn to crawl, walk, etc. Also, I know so much about the progression of eating. Yes, each stage has taken Emma a bit longer to progress through, but I have learned so much during each stage. I am constantly amazed...not only by Emma....but also by myself and how much I have grown by learning from her. That first year was incredible, and now that I can look back and see the outcome, I am SO glad that I was chosen to be Emma's mom and travel the journey with her. She has been my teacher, and I've been a pretty good student I must say.

The first year with Owen so far (we're only 1/2 way there) has been peaceful. He has taught me how to breath again, and he has helped me to find a part of me that was hiding. My husband used to call me "a leaf" because I would just float through life and go with the flow. Owen has helped me to find part of that person again. He is a very calm baby, and he helps me to be calm too. He has given me the gift of experiencing life as a mother to a typical child...which most people know nothing else. Owen has helped me to realize that most babies learn to do things on their own, without the aid of therapists and interventions. I have connected with other mothers of children the same age, and I have enjoyed it. He has helped to balance me. The uptight mother has been balanced with the laid back mother to create a once again very happy person.

Both of my children have made me who I am today. I would not change a thing about either one of them because that would change who I am, and today....I'm pretty happy with who I am.

Monday, October 13, 2008

What to do with a snow day?

I was just about to download my photos when I noticed this....

this is what I dressed Owen in last weekend as we were doing yardwork

and this is what he was dressed in yesterday!

AHHHH! Just one of the joys of living in Wyoming. The only thing you can predict about the weather is that it WILL be unpredictable.

We decided to make good use of a snowy Saturday. I watched out the window all night as the beautiful flakes fell to the ground, and I had visions of the enormous snowman that Emma and I would make. So, yesterday morning, I got us both dressed in our snow gear and out the door we went. We began to pack the first snowball, and I realized it was not the packable kind of snow. So, I went and got a bucket of water, and together Emma and I made the most of it and made a pretty good...although small and rather odd shaped...snowman:).


Emma, of course, is highly concerned about the snowman having to sleep outside. Oh, how will I deal with the tears that will surely fall after Mr. Snowman melts. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Next, every Wyoming girl needs to learn how to eat a "Wyoming popsicle"

Then, we headed to the backyard to play on the swingset. Emma was in awe of what she saw

But, we brushed them off, and broke off the icicles, and she had a great time anyway!

To finish off the outside play time, we journeyed to the slide, and what did we find??
Em thought it was a BLAST to slide down into the snow:).

One last shot before we headed inside.

Owen came inside during most of the hang out with Dad

We had so much fun! We came in the house and had hot chocolate and marshmellows (yum), then we ventured back outside to scoop up some of that clean white stuff to make some YUMMY snow ice cream!

Emma really wants it to snow every day. I, however like it on occassion. We truly do enjoy it when it comes.