So, I did it...I called today to see a counselor. I have times that I just need to sort through all of the "issues" (for lack of a better term) that are mulling around in my head. It's tough because I always think that I can handle it all, but sometimes the weight just becomes too much. It helps me to have a person who isn't biased to talk to, cry to, get mad around, you know.....someone who knows that I am crazy and tells me that it's OK.
Well, guess what....there is a WAITING LIST to meet with someone when you are going crazy!! What kind of sense does that make? Then, the lady tells me that if things get worse to give them a call and they will place me higher on the priority list....well, gee thanks!
The gist of it is...I struggle with the thought of others judging me, my parenting, and most of all....my child. Being around people that aren't around her much (i.e. family from this past weekend) makes me realize how much it hurts my heart that she is not understood...and I cannot help her to be understood. I don't mean with communication...I mean with her actions. WHY does she think that it is neccessary to push her cousin anytime that she wants to play with him? I'm not sure, but I KNOW that it's not just her being a brat....she just can't figure it out....and I can't figure her out....and there is no end in sight. It just makes this Mama's mind go to a very dark place....
BUT, apparently it is not dark enough yet....NOPE, I'm still seeing a little light at the end of the tunnel. If it gets any dimmer I'm sure I'll call to up my status in the looney bin:).
Oh, by the way, make sure to read my previous post. Blogger was being goofy and wouldn't post it correctly. Thanks:).