Thursday, February 05, 2009

Sad

That's the only way that I can explain my feelings tonight. I am at odds with "the system"...and at the moment I HATE having a child with special needs. I love Em with all of my heart, but I want all of the "stuff" to go away. I just want to move my little family to a remote island and live happily ever after...never to be judged by anyone ever again. My heart hurts...my eyes hurt...my soul hurts. Some of my best friends are the people that I work with, but I feel like I am at odds with all of them because I have entered Emma into our school...and I have taken on a different role...one that I did not sign up for...but I am attempting to make the best of. DAMN IT!!! Why can't I just easily navigate through all of this? Why are there times that I feel such bitterness? It is the most difficult position that I have ever been in in my life. Tears flow as my heart aches for some sense of normalness.

7 comments:

Jessica mommy to Alex/ RTS said...

Im sorry you are going through this right now. Keep doing what is best for your girl! Hang in there.

Myssie said...

I am so sorry. I am thinking of you today....

Terri H-E said...

We're with you. I had some painful "system" heartache last night, too. Today I feel numb, actually.

Hang in there. Let us know if we can help.

Brandi said...

Oh Angie, the system can sometimes get us down. For some reason, the public school system has it's downfalls and it just doesn't seem right. Are you current on the laws that encompass special education? I'm a fighter when it comes to education. Our kids are entitled to quite a bit. Carolyn Cox from the list serve is a good person to contact if you need help.

Don't Lick The Ferrets! said...

I am so sorry. The tough times can really suck and it isn't fair. It's never fair. Just remember you are a GREAT mom, the BEST mom for Emma and your battles are for HER. Hang in there and good luck!

Ben and Bennie said...

So very sorry, my friend. The system sucks.

Kristi said...

Thinking of you and hoping your sadness has passed. Love, Kristi and Noah