The sun is shining through once again. I believe that it is part of the roller coaster of being a parent of a child with special needs. Some days/weeks/months are very very dark. I try to keep those periods of time short....and to myself. However, it does help me to write about it. It does not make it go away, but it makes it more bearable. I always look forward to the moment when I can see the bright and shining light once again. I can see the sun shining through
and the name of the shining sun.....is.....EMMA
The beautiful sleeping face that pops the shower curtain open each morning and says, "haaaaa" (her new hi....we don't quite have the long i sound yet....but, we'll take it). The sound of pitter patter feet in the middle of the night, and the finger poking me in the eye along with the sweet little voice saying, "mom, mom, mom" then making the drinking sound to let me know that she would like something to drink.
Yes, my "normal" may be a bit different than others, and I do sometimes grieve over the life that I have dreamed about every day (the one where I would have the child at the top of her class....the one where I could read the book What to Expect the Toddler Years...and I could relate to every single page....please note that all of those books were burned in my house when Emma was 3 months old:). However, one dream that I always had is being achieved every single day....I DO have the perfect little girl that I always dreamed about. She was made absolutely perfectly....the way SHE was meant to be.