Friday, June 23, 2006

WHY GOD WHY?????

The words that I was yelling as I cleaned up vomit from Miss Em's tray right after she had just finished eating her entire lunch! Now, I guess this is a step in the right direction for me because this is the first time that I have even spoken to "THE MAN UPSTAIRS" for quite some time. I know....turn your troubles to God....well, I have tried that and it didn't work. I would like to know exactly why He keeps dishing out the bad stuff to my kid!!! Mentally I just cannot go back to the puking all of the time thing, and believe me....that is where we are headed AGAIN! Every single day this week Emma has puked. I can't do it. I have no Calgon....what is a Mom to do????

If your reading this and want to give me some inspirational words about God....please don't! I am just angry right now. I am angry that my child had a liver disease. I am angry that my child had to have a liver transplant and will be on medication for that for the rest of her life. I am angry that the nieve parenting that I am supposed to be experiencing has been robbed from me. I am angry that my child still is not speaking. I am angry that my child cannot eat like a "normal" child. I am angry that my child is allergic to so many things. I AM JUST FLAT OUT ANGRY!!!!!

Hah!! We just got a call that Emma was exposed to chicken pox last night! Now we are on the hunt for some nasty shot that she has to have to lessen the chances of a major outbreak (because chicken pox in a child that has had a transplant can be a very very bad thing....and NO she cannot have the vaccine for it because it is a live vaccine that can also be harmful to her)... oh goody! SOMETHING ELSE TO BE ANGRY ABOUT!

Sorry....I know....it's a very negative post....but, these are my true feelings for the day:).

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Angie,
I feel the same way you do and maybe some day we will understand..untill then..I'm angry too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Christi mommy to Caden
www.caringbridge.org/visit/cadenthompson

Sonia Wetzel Photography said...

I have days like that too. A LOT. I don't want to know all about how I was chosen because I could handle it on my worst days. It just makes me more angry. I'm so glad you got it OUT! That's part of the reason why I started blogging. ((HUGS))