Friday, May 26, 2006

You're NOT the boss of me!!

It will never cease to amaze me how quickly children find their "own" personality. As a parent you think, "This child is made from the genes of her father and myself...therefore she is a mixture of the two of us"....yeah right!!! Think again! Emma is 100% truly, uniquely, you've gotta love her, HERSELF!! AND, she WILL let you know that SHE is the one that makes the rules!

Those of you reading this that do not personally know me may think that I am a parent that just lets my child do what she wants to. You may think that I do not discipline, or I am lazy. I challenge anyone to take a good look at their own child and tell me that their child does every single thing that you tell him to. It's not possible. They are all so unique. What a wonderful thing!! Yes, I did say that it was a wonderful thing that my child does not listen to me ALL of the time. I want her to have her own thoughts and feelings about things. I want her to have the power to say NO! I want her to think something over before she makes a committment to do it.

Yes, Emma is 2 and she does not listen to everything that I say. Is she a brat? No way!!! Do I ever feel like banging my head against the wall? You bet I do! But, when I see that strong will showing through those beautiful eyes I stop and think to myself, "she IS going to be OK! No matter what this world throws at her...she will conquer it. She has the almighty determination".

Check it out:

This is the look I give when I don't get my way

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"You can't make me!"

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"No way am I going to smile for that camera Mama!"

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Thursday, May 25, 2006

American Idol's Biggest Fan?

Miss Emma has found a new love of her life....and his name is Elliot Yamin. Yes, he is ENTIRELY too old, and in my opinion not the most attractive:)....but, he does have talent! We have watched American Idol since the beginning of this season. This is the first time that we have watched the show. It has been so amusing to watch Emma while the show is on. She may be having a tea party (with her giant stuffed Elmo of course), putting a puzzle together, coloring, etc., BUT when Elliot comes on to sing...WATCH OUT!!! Emma makes a bee line for the little basket (that has somehow become her seat), and she will watch from the beginning to the end of Elliot's song. Then she will clap, stand up and clap, then she is off to bigger and better things.....until he comes on to sing again.

The last 2 weeks (since Elliot was booted off) Emma has not been interested in watching at all.....until last night! The return of Elliot to the finale sparked a new flame in Miss Emma's eye! She was SO excited! Here's a pic of Emma watching Elliot...SO CUTE!!!

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Now, my PERSONAL favorite was Chris!!! Great voice, and not so bad on the eyes either:). However, I guess Emma and I both had something else in mind for our American Idols!!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

A Turtle on His Back??

This evening I ran into an old friend. This man retired last year at a fairly early age. He was a hard worker all of his life, and like all of us, he looked forward to retirement. So, he retired at the early age of 61....only to have a massive stroke the very next day! Today was the first time that I have seen him since the day before he retired, and as I walked away from our conversation tears streamed down my face. I had asked him how he was. His reply, "I feel as if I have died. I feel like a turtle that is on his back. I cannot flip over, and no one can help me....but, at least I can finally walk again". An entire year after his stroke and he is finally able to walk.

I found myself wondering "WHY"? Why was this path chosen for this man who was so full of life?

I drove home and found my husband talking to our new neighbor. He had his little boy with him. Emma was SO excited to see a little friend at our house. She chased him up and down the driveway...then he chased her. It was so much fun to see her little face light up. Then, his Mom came over to join us. He ran up to her and said, "Mom, this is my friend"! My heart nearly burst to hear someone else call my little Emma his "friend". Emma's friend is an entire year younger than Emma.

Wow! So great that Em has a friend, but I do hope that one day she can tell me (with words) that he is her friend too.

Interesting, the neighbor Mother was in awe as I told her Emma's story. She said over and over, "I don't know how you got through it". HMMMM? That's a question that I have asked myself. I truly do not believe that it was ME going through everything. I know that sounds odd...and NO I do not have multiple personalities (I don't think). However, whenever Emma has gone through anything BIG I have just felt like I was standing outside of it all watching. Afterward the emotions are definitely within me...but I am numb to it. It is not until MUCH later that the reality hits. At THAT point I have to deal with it. So, at the time where everyone else thinks that all is well again....Emma's Mom is going through HER emotional crisis. Yes, that is the way it works with me. But, I put on the "happy" face, and pretend that I am just doing great! How do I get through it??? Any way that I can! This is the ONLY child that I have....this is ALL that I have ever known as a parent....and all that I do know is that if I do not have to "go through it anymore" then I know that I am going to be "going through something MUCH worse" because my child would no longer be here.

Yes, these are my random thoughts for the day. Ultimately, I guess that we are all a bunch of turtles. Sometimes we do land on our backs. Sometimes others help to turn us back over, and sometimes you just stay there on your back for a while thinking...."OH CRAP...why is this happening to me?".....hopefully we will ALL walk again:).

Thursday, May 04, 2006

The Impossible

Maybe "fate" is trying to tell me something. The last 3 mornings when Emma and I have gotten in the car the same song has been on the radio. It is the song "Impossible". The chorus goes like this:

Unsinkable ships sink
Unbreakable walls break
Sometimes the things you think will never happen
Happen just like that

Unbendable steal bends
when the fury of the wind is unstoppable
I've learned to never underestimate....the impossible!

It is ironic to have the SAME song on the radio every time that you enter the car for 3 days in a row. However, it is also strange that I am currently reading the book titled Danielle Steel ( does not have the deep rooted meaning that the chorus to the song is a mindless read and right now that is what I need).

Then, as I was driving into town today I saw a billboard that said in bold letters:

Is lightening going to strike me down next??

I have seen the possible happen when it seemed as if it were truly impossible due to the circumstances. Emma was 10 pounds when she received a liver from a 17 year old that weighed 115 pounds. Possible?? You bet it sassy little princess is shear proof that it is entirely possible!

BELIEVE BELIEVE BELIEVE!! I do believe there is a higher power that leads us in the direction of our destiny. I have thought about this so much lately.

Next week we have Miss Emma's yearly IEP meeting. I truly despise these meetings. I feel as if they are set up simply to tell a parent how far behind their child is from the "norms". Now, my child does not and never has fit into the "norms". It is not "normal" for an infant to turn yellow at 3 weeks of age...and be crying tears of gold at three months. It is not normal for a 7 month old child to need a new liver in order to see her 1st birthday. However, the sparkle in her eye when she sees a bird land on a tree is very "normal". The way she sleeps with her little hands folded together (as if she is praying) and tucked under her sweet little face is "normal". The way that she walks is NOW "normal". She colors, stacks things, follows directions....all very normal. In those ares she has caught up to her "normal" peers. However, what her IEP will focus on is her speech. Do I seriously WANT to know what her age equivalent is for her speech? Exactly what does that do to the pride of parenthood when you know that your child is by no means "normal" in that area? Do they REALLY need to TELL me that? SIGH!!! HELLO folks....It is more than POSSIBLE that Emma's speech is going to be OK one just have to BELIEVE!

My quote for the day: A child may only be a person in the world, but that child may be the world to a person.

Is your child your world??? I know that mine is, and I know that she is such an important part of the world of so many others. I've learned to never underestimate....the impossible!