Enjoying summer

Emma and I have been enjoying the summer sun while Daddy teaches classes in the afternoon. Today is his last day of teaching, then we can all have fun together. Last summer seems like so long ago when I think about how much Emma has grown and changed. At this time last year Emma was not walking on her own, which made any kind of yardwork extremely difficult! If we stepped more than 10 feet away from her she would scream. She just wanted to be a part of the action. She is such a wonderful helper, and this year she has the chance to help in every way. We have been planting a rock garden with a few plants disbursed throughout. Emma is so great at taking the plants OUT after I have put them IN the hole! She also loves to take the dirt and throw it around the black plastic to create her masterpiece (thankfully there is the Shop Vac)! We really have enjoyed Emma this summer. She loves to pick the very green apples off of our trees and eat them (EEEWWWW!! They are SO sour...but, she loves them). The slide is her newest love. She has a little one that she can completely do on her own, but now she has moved onto the BIG slide, which is just hilarious when Mom goes down with her....again....and again....and again....and again! It just amazes me to watch our little peanut walk all the way back to the back of our property with us (only an acre, but a HUGE feat for those tiny legs). She is just such a trooper.



As always, here are some pictures! Enjoy!



Here is Emma, on a cooler day, picking flowers for her Mom:







Emma's new found love....her sprinkler:





I just had to capture the little princess that FELL ASLEEP on her big wheel! She was just SO tired!






And, last but definitely NOT least. Emma's newest "friend"...and my newest "enemy". The deer LOVE the flowers that we have planted in the rock garden (the black plastic you see in the picture will be covered with rocks...that is our rock garden). Now, most of our yard is behind the fence (the fence is to keep Emma in), and the deer have NEVER come inside the fence until this summer.

When I come to the door and BOOM there they are...they scare the crap out of me!!! However, Emma thinks they are fantastic, and she loves it when they come to visit her! I think the deer in this picture is thinking about riding Miss Em's big wheel!

Waiting for "the shot"

We drove 10 hours (one way) last weekend just to get a shot so Emma would be less likely to contract the chicken pox virus. In the car Emma was the happiest child. She laughed, played, and thought that we were going on a family vacation! We felt like we were taking her to the slaughter house! We knew that the shot was going to be very painful, but it had to be done.

Here is Emma waiting outside the hospital (with her Havalah duck) for them to come to get her (since she is immunosuppressed they do not want her in the germy waiting room....and neither do I):







Here is Em's fashion statement for the week:). I think everyone will start wearing these soon:







Waiting in the ER room, Emma is practicing her karate kicks (don't ask me where she comes up with this stuff). She kicks her leg and says, "Hiya!" Too cute!







They gave her the shot, she cried for about a minute, the nurse gave her stickers, and she stuck them all over her body while she laughed like crazy. Silly girl....you've gotta love her:).

More vacation pictures

Sorry, it has been awhile since I said I would post more pictures. We had to go on a whirlwind trip this weekend to get Miss Em a shot so she would not get chicken pox. We were gone from home for 50 hours (19 of which we spent in the car). Whew!! It's good to be home!!



Well, when we went on vacation we went to the zoo. It was a fantastic zoo!! Emma loved it! They had a turtle that looked just like me:



Emma loved it so much she just had to go give that turtle a BIG "mooch". I'm pretty sure the turtle loved it too.



Then, we went to the butterfly garden. WOW!! It was amazing! They had 500-600 butterflies. They were everywhere! Here was a really pretty one:







Emma had this one land on her leg. She thought that was SO funny, but I was impressed by how still she sat.





This one liked my hair!







We ended the day with a ride on the carousel. Em was definitely NOT sure about this one when I put her on it, but she warmed up to the idea quickly...then she was in full parade-waving mode!

Bigger than she is

It is true that Miss Emma attracts the attention! A simple glance at a person and she can make anyone smile. She has this aura around her that glows. Even someone who is having a really bad day cannot help but smile when they look at Miss Em. When we are in the front yard Emma has to wave at every car that passes by on the street...and most of them wave back at her.

I was talking to my aunt on the phone the other day. My aunt lives very far away. She has only met Emma one time...right after she was extubated in the hospital in April. Em was a bit groggy when my Aunt Tammy walked into the room, but Emma say up, smiled at her visitor, and waved hello. They played together for quite a while. When I was talking to Tammy on the phone she said that "Emma just makes the whole room glow". I said, "yes, she gets noticed everywhere she goes...I think it's the hair". Tammy said, "Her hair is as big as her personality". I think they are both bigger than she is.

WHY GOD WHY?????

The words that I was yelling as I cleaned up vomit from Miss Em's tray right after she had just finished eating her entire lunch! Now, I guess this is a step in the right direction for me because this is the first time that I have even spoken to "THE MAN UPSTAIRS" for quite some time. I know....turn your troubles to God....well, I have tried that and it didn't work. I would like to know exactly why He keeps dishing out the bad stuff to my kid!!! Mentally I just cannot go back to the puking all of the time thing, and believe me....that is where we are headed AGAIN! Every single day this week Emma has puked. I can't do it. I have no Calgon....what is a Mom to do????

If your reading this and want to give me some inspirational words about God....please don't! I am just angry right now. I am angry that my child had a liver disease. I am angry that my child had to have a liver transplant and will be on medication for that for the rest of her life. I am angry that the nieve parenting that I am supposed to be experiencing has been robbed from me. I am angry that my child still is not speaking. I am angry that my child cannot eat like a "normal" child. I am angry that my child is allergic to so many things. I AM JUST FLAT OUT ANGRY!!!!!

Hah!! We just got a call that Emma was exposed to chicken pox last night! Now we are on the hunt for some nasty shot that she has to have to lessen the chances of a major outbreak (because chicken pox in a child that has had a transplant can be a very very bad thing....and NO she cannot have the vaccine for it because it is a live vaccine that can also be harmful to her)... oh goody! SOMETHING ELSE TO BE ANGRY ABOUT!

Sorry....I know....it's a very negative post....but, these are my true feelings for the day:).

Vacation all I ever wanted!

Sing with me now....Vacation happy to get away.....!



We went on our very first (since Emma was born), non hospital related in any way, vacation a couple of weeks ago. It was wonderful!! I am still recovering (and so is our washing machine), but it truly was a memorable trip. Amazing that I can still say that after 24 hours in the car with a two year old...and my mother in law:). It really was GREAT!!



So, my next few posts will be trip related. I had to start with our first night....in a motel...on our way to Uncle Steve's house. Can you tell that Miss Em was too excited to sleep?







This was how Emma felt about our first hiking adventure of the trip. Come on Em! After all....you do have the correct footwear (extremely important for any 2 year old).







I think Emma is saying to us, "You are taking me WHERE?". I love it!! Em is obsessed with sunglasses and cellphones. Can you say 2 going on 20?

Happy Father's Day

I knew the moment that I saw Miss Em's face this morning. She knew it was a special day. As she rubbed her tiny hands over her sleepy eyes, she smiled at me, and pointed to the room across the hall and said, "Daddy???" as if to question..."Mom, is he there? Is he having a good day?". So, I scooped the little princess from her bed to go and give her Daddy big mooches, and he accepted without hesitation! The two of them layed in bed together while I made a big breakfast...and that is how our Father's Day began!

Today is a special day for all men out there. Men who are Father's, men who will be Father's, men who have been Fathers, and men who will never be a Father but have made an impression on someone's life. After all a Father is an impressionable figure in one's life. My Dad has always been there for me, and I know he always will be. He has taught me that life can be tough, but it is what we make of the difficult moments that matter. How true that is. He has said to me, "People may not remember what happened, but they will know who you have become because of it". A very profound statement that I heard many years ago. It has stayed with me, and I now know the TRUE meaning of it.

Yes, my Dad probably has every one of his gray hairs on his head because of me. I did give him a run for his money in my teenage years, but in return he gave me unconditional love.

They say that you look to marry someone who is similar to your own Dad. In my case I think that is true. There are many similarities, although there are also many differences. I am glad that Tim possesses many of the same qualities that my Dad has. I know that he will raise Emma to be a strong and independent person, while letting her lead the way to her own destiny.

On this Father's Day I would like to thank my Dad, my husband, and all of the men out there who are making a positive difference in someone's life.

Happy Father's Day Dad and Tim! You both deserve only the best!!!

Living a Day in the Life

Is it typical to feel the darkness looming over your shoulder every day....to never feel that you don't have anything to worry about? I am beginning to think that it is very typical. Yes, I have a child with on-going medical issues, and I find myself continually going to her room at night to hear the sweet sound of her breathing. I cringe at every sneeze wondering if it could be "the one" to send us back to "Club West Park Hospital" (our "spa" of choice). I take her temperature at least 2 times a day...just to make sure that the germy creatures are keeping at bay. I KNOW that the darkness looms. It follows me everyday and everywhere that I go.

However, in my thoughts lately I have been trying to understand the darkness that others may have looming. Every person that we encounter day to day does have some darkness that looms. The rude cashier at Wal-Mart....maybe her boyfriend is abusing her and she has nowhere to turn. The mother that yells at her child in public without even thinking about the child's feeling....maybe she lost her job. The worried face of the person that you pass on the street....maybe she just found out that her child needs her tonsils removed. NOW, this last one used to really annoy me. It's just her tonsils lady...it's not like it's an organ transplant. After some serious thought I have come to the realization that what a person is going through at the time could be the BIGGEST thing they have EVER gone through....and that is HUGE!! A parent that has never had a child in the hospital would be overwhelmed at the thought of having tonsils removed.

Miss Em and I went to lunch with a friend the other day. I had already fed Emma before we left home, but she wanted some goldfish crackers. I had forgotten her bib, but I figured that she would be fine. Well, guess what!! She was not fine! Somehow that goldfish found a way to make Emma gag, and you guessed it, up it came. Of course she coughed first, and being the experienced puke master momma that I am I knew what was coming. So, I put on my official puke master mama cape and flew into the rescue!!! I swept her out of the highchair, flew past the people staring at me, and ALMOST made it to the bathroom. With just a little puke on the floor I managed to get most of it into the sink in the bathroom (and NONE on Em or myself!!!...now tell me that some "amateur" parent could pull that one off:). I realized as I came out of the bathroom that yes some people might have been staring, but you know what I DIDN'T CARE!!! All I thought was, "They just need to live a day in the life". Then I realized that maybe I should live a day in the life of anyone that I judge throughout the day also! Really, there is no such thing as an "easy life". Everyone has their own challenges, but the rewards that I get from my "challenging life" are.... the beautiful voice of Miss Emma saying, "Mamama" anytime she gets hurt (because only Mom can fix it), getting to have unlimited kisses from the most fascinating child that I have ever seen, and being allowed to be the mother to one of the most extraordinary creatures that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

The darkness does loom, but the light that I continue to walk in will be my reward.