6 years ago today at 9:35 in the morning we received a call that changed our world. It was a cold, dreary, snowy day much like today. However, the phone call told us that the blanket that had been shadowing our world for the past 7 months was about to be lifted, and we could see the sun beginning to peak out of the clouds. The call was one that filled me with fear, but the fear was quickly replaced with a sense of peace. I KNEW that everything was going to be OK, and as we started on our journey toward this new chapter in our lives I knew that things were going to get better....that was the only option.
The morning of March 19, 2004 was similar to the previous morning. When I went to get Emma out of her crib she smiled at me. Her eyes were just as yellow as they had been the day before....verging on orange. It amazed me at that point that when Emma cried her tears were yellow. I prayed that morning just like I had done every morning, "Dear God please let this be the day". However, we were in denial that it could happen so soon. Emma had only been on the transplant list for 2 days short of 2 months. Therefore, we had not packed a bag....we were not ready to go. Nonetheless we knew that any call that came could be "the call".
As I changed Em's diaper that morning I noticed blood in her stool. I cried when I saw it, and I knew that our time with her was wasting away. She was sleeping 18 hours + a day, and she was in desperate need of a new liver. As I dropped her off with the sitter that morning....I knew. As I drove away with tears streaking down my cheeks...I knew. I knew that it was going to be "THE DAY". I don't know how I knew, but I did.
1 1/2 hours later I got the call, and I cried and begged God to "not let my baby die". Then the sense of peace took over, and the cloud moved away.
Sunshine has shone on us every day since. I see the sunshine every time that I look at the smile on Emma's face. I hear the sunshine every time I hear her say, "I Love You Mommy".
AND, I FEEL THE SUNSHINE EACH AND EVERY TIME THIS AMAZING MIRACLE GIVES ME A HUG!!
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Now, if you know me well you know that I am not an overly religious person. However, today I do have to say Thank you God for giving me the sunshine....she helps me to see the path of our journey ahead.