Today is a day of remembrance, and one that I would like to forget. However, I know that words that I heard 6 years ago today have helped to shape me into who I am today. I know that today I am a much stronger person than I ever knew I could be, and my daughter is the strongest person I know. 6 years ago today we first heard the words Biliary Atresia and Kasai. Emma went in for her first procedure (a liver biopsy) 6 years ago today. She was 6 1/2 weeks old....and weighed 6 1/2 pounds. Yes, the first time that I handed my baby girl over to someone that I didn't know to find out what was wrong with her....why she was yellow...was one of the most difficult times of my life. I also remember that day because it was the first time that my baby girl smiled. Tim and I were both in her room with her.....getting ready to say good-bye to her....and she looked up at us and smiled. It gave us hope. We knew that everything was going to be OK.
Fast forward to today....as we sit here waiting....trying to explain to her why she can't eat until after we get her "pictures" taken. Today, we will once again hand her over to strangers to find out if there is anything wrong with her....why she continually is getting sick (2 months now), and why her blood work is "off". If I said I wasn't nervous I would be lying. If I said that I thought today would be easy...I would be lying. I'm always nervous when she is put under, and today we are going to be in our home town hospital. While it will be close to home....they do not specialize in children, and that has me just a little bit nervous too.
But, Em will pull me through. She'll look at me with that beautiful smile that I saw for the first time 6 years ago today and she will make it through with flying colors. She's my miracle and my hero.
If you have some extra thoughts or prayers for my girl today they would be GREATLY appreciated. She'll be sedated for a head and neck CT in 2 hours. I'll let you know how it goes:).