Difficult Situation

The perfect placement for my Em has turned into a difficult time in my life. We worked hard to get Emma placed at the school where I teach. I teach in a rural school. We only have 27 kids grade Kdg. through 5th, and it truly is a wonderful place. The kids at our school are like family to each other. Sure they bicker from time to time....but they also look out for each other, and that was the main reason that I wanted Emma to come to our school....that, and one of my good friends is the special ed teacher and I have always thought her to be one of the best. However, there are so many issues right now that just do not feel right....and it puts me in such an awkward situation. Why are there NO BREAKS when you are the parent of a child with special needs? Why do I always feel like I am walking straight up a mountain and conquering every single obstacle along the way. I am proud of where I have come from, and I am amazed that I have conquered the obstacles that I have....but, I need a break...I need some time to breath and I need some moments where I do not need to worry. I KNOW that those moments have been there and they will be there again....but, right now I feel like I am drowning. I feel so helpless, and I HATE to not feel like I am in control.

12 LONG days to go

"Only" 12 days until we take flight on the adventure of a lifetime. Yes, we have been planning this crusade for more than 6 months....so 12 days should seem like a walk in the park, right??? WWWRRROOONNNNGGGG!! The closer it gets...the closer Emma thinks it should be:). So, we made a paper chain to show her how many days we have until we leave to see Minnie Mouse...you know...so she can visualize it to SEE how many days there are until we leave. Well, tonight she came up with the brilliant idea (really it was quite savvy) that we can just, "Cut off all of those papers and we can leave tomorrow". Yep, what do you do with that one?

I am really enjoying watching videos about different characters on YouTube with Emma. Emma has always been petrified of anything that has a mask....and Santa Claus??? She is extremely excited about seeing Minnie Mouse, Mickey Mouse, Goofy, etc. But, I wonder when she sees them if she will freak? So, I am doing everything I can (hence the dressing them up as Mickey and Minnie for Halloween) to get her used to seeing the characters including size, costumes, etc. I really hope that it eases her anxiety because there will be many masked characters as we travel through the different parks.

OK, maybe I'm having a hard time about thinking about 12 more days too! For some reason I had it in my mind that we were leaving THIS Saturday. Do you think if I just cut those extra chains off of the paper chain that those days will melt away?? I don't think I'll try it though because I truly think that I NEED the visual also:).

Does it make me a bad mom?

Tonight....I got "the look"...you know the one...the look where other parents look at you like, "I would NEVER do that". I wanted to just yell, "Never say never!!!" and stick my tongue out at them:). That would be the mature way to handle it, right?

OK, here's the scenario...and I want your honest opinions on this. So, Tim had to work late tonight, and we got home later than usual. I was bound and determined to work out, so I did. Then I remembered that we had to pick up Emmas $850 (UGH!) medicine before 6:00. So, I got both kids in the car and I decided that I really wanted Subway for dinner. So, I drove to Subway and I parked right outside the window. I could clearly see my children (who were safely buckled in...and have not figured out how to get out), and I ran into Subway to order my sandwich. There was only one person in front of me. As it became my turn I looked out the window to see a car park next to mine. A couple gets out of the car, and they get their child (single child with 2 parents) out of the car. Then, they both look into my car to see my children and the mom shakes her head. They came into Subway and gave me "the look". Then, I noticed that the lady was pregnant. As I walked past the couple on my way out I just smiled at both of them and thought.....You just wait!

What do you think??? Bad mom??? It's OK tell me the truth...I have thick skin (wink wink).

Happy Halloween!!

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Mickey Mouse (and Minnie)
= SO MUCH FUN!!!!!