Saturday, August 26, 2006

Rain girl????

After dinner this evening Emma wanted nothing more than to go for a walk with her new bike (for her birthday she got a tricycle that you can push like a is GREAT), so we headed off to a nearby park. In the past Emma has liked the park, but when it was time to go she didn't make a big deal about it. Today things changed!

When we got to the park there were 3 other children there. Emma headed right to the swings. As I placed her in the swing the mom next to me (who was pushing her little boy in the other swing) asked the infamous question, "How old is she?" (innocent enough, right?). So, I answered, "She just turned three. She replied, "Oh, he will be 3 in February". OK....the child was a bruiser!! He was AT LEAST 10 pounds heavier than my tiny Miss Em:). Her child wanted down, and he ran off to play with the other 2 children. They all 3 climbed the slide by themselves and went down. I sat and watched in awe as I wondered if that would EVER be Emma? For one thing she is terrified of the slide, and she doesn't have the upper body strength to climb the slide yet. Next, Emma wanted to go on the merry-go-round, and she loved it, but I felt like the outsider as we played in one corner of the park while the other 3 children played together. It really made me sad.

However, after 2 of the children left the park there was only one little boy left. He came up to us and said, "My name is Dillon". I said, "It's nice to meet you Dillon, this is Emma". Emma kept pointing at Dillon saying, "Dillon" and pointing at herself and saying, "Emma". She loved playing with Dillon. She chased him around and followed him up the stairs (of a different slide that is a little easier....but, it was still a first for her).

Then, the wind started to blow. It blew and blew, and it began to get COLD! So, I told Emma it was time to go. She threw herself on the ground and kicked her feet. I looked around as if to say, "Whose kid is this??". So, I picked her up put her back on her bike (thank God there is a belt to buckle her on) and off we went.....and DOWN came the RAIN!!! It started raining within a block of leaving the park. I could see the look of pity from the passing cars as I just smiled at them. I really did find it quite amusing! Emma thought it was GREAT!! We were about a mile away from our house. When we had walked a little ways we came to a big tree, and we stopped to wait for the rain to pass. I was so amazed when 2 different cars stopped to ask if we needed a ride. It's so nice to know that there are good people out there! However, with the bike and all I said that I thought we could make it. Finally, it calmed a bit and we ran the rest of the way home with Emma saying, "WEEEEEE" all the way!! We pulled into the garage, and I helped her off her bike. I turned around and she was GONE!! Yes, you guessed it, she ran as fast as she could out of the garage to play in the "water" on the driveway. I think she would have played there all night, and the beauty to see her playing on nature's playground far outweighs the feeling that I would have felt if she were just a "typical" kid going down the slide with the other 3 kids at the park. Thank you rain for reminding me of the beauty of MY child:).

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Hi ho! Hi ho!! It's off to work.....

Tomorrow is the big day! My first day "on contract"...which translates to the first day that I am paid to be in my classroom. The first day that I have to be there from 7:45 until 3:45. It is so much earlier this year. Am I ready??? In some ways I am. I am ready to have a "schedule". I am a person who likes order. Granted, it is nice to have a few months to do whatever I want, whenever I want (well, whatever Emma wants), but I do look forward to a more structured life. I am also ready to have some adult interaction (other than Tim). It is wonderful to be with my husband 24/7 for 3 months, but I think we are both ready to be around other adults also.

Now, I am not in any way ready to take Emma back to the babysitter. I know that she will love it. She will not miss me AT ALL!! She absolutely LOVES her babysitter (and I am so thankful for that), but I will miss not being with her. I will even miss her naughtiness that has taken over lately (pinching, pinching, pinching).

Ready or not here it comes. I am very excited to see my students. I have the wonderful opportunity to have my students for 2 years in a row (I teach Kdg. and 1st grade). I really become attached to my kids, and I do miss them over the summer. I am also excited to get to know my new kindergarten students. Now, there are a couple of parents that could give me a run for my money, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there (and kill them with kindness)!

So, think of me tomorrow in my classroom up in the middle of the beautiful mountains....preparing for my 9 wonderful students who will enter my classroom next week and teach ME more in a year than I ever could imagine!

Monday, August 14, 2006

"Life Ain't Always Beautiful....."

Have you heard the song?? "Life Ain't Always Beautiful...But, it's a beautiful ride"....I'm not sure who sings this song, and I absolutely do not like the word ain't, BUT the song truly has good meaning. Life isn't always beautiful, but when you look back at the journey it is a beautiful ride. Yes, today I can say this. Emma is doing phenomenal...knock on wood (HARD)!! She has been 3 years old for 10 days now....and she is a "new" person. It is like a switch has suddenly clicked, we've turned the corner, I don't know what it is....BUT I am hoping that there is no turning back! She is crazy! I have waited for this day for 3 years...and I.AM.LOVING.IT!!! She is eating turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, peas, carrot, tortillas, cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, apples. She is just eating, and eating, and EATING!!! YYYIIIPPPPEEEE! And, you know what!!! If life HAD always been "beautiful"...if we had not had these eating issues....then I would not be able to appreciate the pure joy that I am experiencing these past 10 days! It is like she has been born all over again! My stress has been lifed, and I feel a sense of peace that I have not felt in 3 years. No, life may not always be "beautiful", BUT it is a beautiful ride! Let the journey continue! I just can't wait to see what is around the next corner. The view is just getting more and more spectacular:).

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

A Picture is Worth 1,000 Words

Innocent, sweet, beautiful child of mine. Words cannot describe the feelings I have for my girl. My husband took this picture the day before her 3rd birthday, and she looks so grown up. Emma, you truly are a beauty. Always keep the innocence my child!!

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Sunday, August 06, 2006

Now that she's 3......

I cannot believe that my baby girl turned 3 years old yesterday!! In so many ways it seems like just yesterday when we were having her. The memories are so vivid! However, with all that she has been through....I honestly think she should be about 25! Or is it just that I feel like I am 50 some days??? Either way, yesterday was a terrific day, and Miss Emma was SOOOO excited that it was her birthday. So, now that she is 3.....She has her own "wheels". Yes, Emma got a jeep AND a princess tricycle (complete with an overhead canopy, water bottle, and a bell). She also can swing in a "big girl swing" all by herself (occassionally lets go with one hand and scares the crap out of mom....but hey!). She can also climb up her jungle gym (this still requires SOME assistance from Dad due to extremely short legs...runs in the family...LOL!). She is growing up!! I'm not ready!

OH! And the first picture is her cake! Yes, I made it all by myself! Can you believe it??? Must mean that I am 33 years old...and officially a grown up......NO! I am not ready for that either:).

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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

August Thoughts (Ramblings)

I honestly cannot believe that August is here. I am just not ready, but no one asked me if I was ready or not. Here are some of my thoughts about August:

1) We have been married for 5 years this Friday! Some days it feels like 15 years. Is that a bad thing?? We have just been through SO much that it does not feel like it has "only" been 5 years. In many ways we are so very strong, but in other ways there is so much room for growth. I guess that is true for any marriage. I can still say that I am so lucky to have my husband, and I feel fortunate to be on this journey through life with him....has it REALLY only been 5 years???

2) My sweet baby girl will be 3 years old this Saturday! Some days it feels like she should be 15 years old also....but some days it feels like it has only been 15 months. It is such a weird feeling when your child has been through so much. I feel like we missed out on alot of the sweet cuddling times that are bittersweet for a first time parent. A new parent shouldn't have to make life decisions about their child within the first 2 months of life. BUT, that is our journey, and I wouldn't trade my little angel for anything!

3) I think I have finally reached the cliff in my journey (does that sound like a bad place to be?'s not at all). I feel like I have been running through trees since Emma was born. I have been running and running and running and trying to find the answers. Then I have hit boulders that I have tried to move to make my life "better". I have fallen into large holes which I thought I would never be able to dig myself out of. Through all of this...the shadows from the trees have hung over me and I was having a difficult time seeing the beauty. However, I think I have finally come to the cliff. The sun is shining, all shadows are gone, and I see my life ahead of me. My life with a beautiful little girl who is the sunshine of my world. And I LOVE HER FOR WHO SHE IS....I am no longer trying to make her someone that she is not. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I am enjoying my summer with her SO much!

4) UGH!! School starts SOON! While Emma is so excited to go back to "Miss Joline" (her babysitter)...I am not ready to take her!!! I know that she will be in EXCELLENT care, BUT it will NOT BE ME! I know that if a Mom has to work....teaching is one of the best occupations of choice, BUT....I don't want to go back! I will adjust. I always do....and I am not sure I could be a 100% stay at home mom, so I completely enjoy being one for 3 months every year!

5) Thanks for taking the time to read my rambling thoughts! We are excited about Emma's party on Saturday. Wait till you see the cake pictures. We'll see if I can top last year's Elmo cake:). It was pretty, we'll see!