We're off to see the Wizard

Happy Late Halloween to all! Yes, I am a little late....and my last post (Owen's 6 month birthday) was a little late too, but hey...better late than never, right? So, we had a GREAT time trick or treating...then, we went to a Halloween carnival. Emma was so sugared up by the end of the night..whew!!

Here are some pictures of our Dorothy and Toto! Enjoy!

Happy 6 month Birthday Big Boy!!!

Dear Owen,
I cannot believe that 6 months have passed since I first saw your beautiful face. The moment I heard your cry I felt the fierce protectiveness that I have only experienced one other time in my life.

I have enjoyed the past 6 months so much. You have the most sweet spirit. When you smile your entire face lights up. You have so much to tell the world around you, and you really enjoy being around others. You think your sister is the funniest person on the planet, and you watch every move that she makes (with the intent on copying her very soon I am sure).

I love you more today even than I did yesterday....and I will love you even more tomorrow. I am the luckiest Mama in the world to be able to call you and your sister my children.

Love,
Mama

In My Daughter's Eyes

We found out about a month ago that Emma needs glasses. As silly as it seems...it has been difficult for me to accept. It's one more thing that is "different", a permanent change in the beautiful face that melts my heart every time that I look at it. The fact that it took so long for them to get the frames in (they had to order them for her tiny, pixy little face), didn't break my heart. I was OK with waiting more days, so I could see that face...that part of me that I helped to create for just a little longer without anything disrupting my view.

However, yesterday was the BIG day. Emma was so excited, and by that point I was too. I was excited to see how she would SEE the world. Her eyes were so bad that everything was a blur. I knew the glasses were going to open up a whole new world for my little girl. I had no idea.....

As my sweet pea climbed into the chair the song..."In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride (it is playing now) began to play. What a euphoric feeling it was...another leg to our journey. She truly is my hero. All that she has been through...and she has been guiding me this entire time. It's uncharted territory for me, but she takes it like a pro and takes me with her. When the glasses were placed on her face she started walking around the room saying, "WOW!! MOMMY!!!". The staff had a good giggle while I held back the tears. The happy tears of hope. Hope that this new world that has opened up for my hero will bring even more progress to her quickly progressing skills...even more joy to her everyday joyous world.

She's had the glasses for a day, and when I looked at her while she was sleeping tonight I knew that something was missing. Already her glasses are a part of her. They are the part that help her to see how wondrous the world is. The world that is endless for her.

So Proud of Myself:)

Take a look at my new blog design...what do you think? Pretty impressive, huh? I am LOVING it!!! Hopefully tomorrow will bring a full update on Miss Em's newest addition to her face:). I'll leave you with that thought right now. Oh, and she's telling everyone how she is "SO CUTE". I'd personally have to agree!

Ditching being a mom

I had a meeting this afternoon, so I had to be away from school. This is the first time that Emma has been with a substitute teacher. I'm hoping that she did well. It's our music teacher who is subbing for me...so, she does know all of my kids. Well, my meeting got done really early, and Emma knew that she was going to daycare after school. She LOVES going to daycare because #1 she gets to ride the bus all the way to town and #2 she gets to see her BFF Brindi (Brindi is only 4 and will be coming to our school next year). So, naturally when my meeting was dismissed early I knew that I couldn't go to pick her up too early. I decided to come home and spend some much needed...never found quality me time. I have ONE blissful hour for just me! AHHHHH!!! Why is it that I'm feeling a touch guilty about it?? Granted, it makes sense why I'm not picking Emma up, but I'm feeling a bit guilty about Owen. Here's my reasoning there....this is his naptime. Naptime is very much needed at the almost age of 6 months (can you believe that he's that old already?).

So, I'm off to enjoy my blissful hour....although now it is only about 50 minutes. AHHHH, I'm hearing bubbles from the bathtub calling my name!

How Do You Cope??

That is my question to you...as the readers of this blog (I'm not sure how many read this, but please please please post if you do). We all have challenges in life, so everyone has coping mechanisms, right? What is yours?

My main one is finding the little things. Like today, I had Emma "help" me make cookies. We made sugar cookies (with no egg....egg allergy kiddo) and fully decorated them with true milk of magnesia pink icing...ooohh laaa laaa! I decorated them after she went to bed. She will be so excited to see them in the morning. What a great way to start my week...seeing the look on her face.

When Em started school I began putting a note to her on her napkin every day. Every time that I did it I wondered who would read it to her (I'm not usually in the lunchroom)...would anyone? I wondered if I should continue to do it. After all, she can't read it. Then, I decided YES I am going to continue. I am going to continue to know in my heart that someone is reading it to her and it is brightening her day, and guess what....a little part of it is just for me. Because, if my child were a "typical" kiddo...this is what I would do every day. I need to do it for me...and for Emma too.

My little thing every night is to take a bath and read. It is my one luxury that I look forward to once both my kids are in bed, the dishes are done, lunches are made, and we are ready to hit the ground running the next day.

What is your coping mechanism?

The differences

I hope that both of my children read this one day. I hope that they know that the differences between their first years of life are like apples and oranges....like night and day. I hope they know that there is absolutely no way to compare the two experiences. Yet, I also hope they know that I wouldn't change either experience...or the order in which they happened. I love both of them with all of my heart and soul....and I truly hope that they always know that.

The first year with Emma was like a whirlwind. I was thrown into headfirst....and I had to wait until it stopped spinning to be able to balance again and see what was ahead. We had many people helping us through the first year, and I will never be able to thank those people enough. We were told many times by the doctors that they were not sure she was going to live, yet she did...and everytime she made me so much stronger. Before Emma I never knew how strong I could be. I also never knew I would be so knowledgeable! I have learned more than I ever wanted to know about the liver, allergies, how speech develops, and how children learn to crawl, walk, etc. Also, I know so much about the progression of eating. Yes, each stage has taken Emma a bit longer to progress through, but I have learned so much during each stage. I am constantly amazed...not only by Emma....but also by myself and how much I have grown by learning from her. That first year was incredible, and now that I can look back and see the outcome, I am SO glad that I was chosen to be Emma's mom and travel the journey with her. She has been my teacher, and I've been a pretty good student I must say.

The first year with Owen so far (we're only 1/2 way there) has been peaceful. He has taught me how to breath again, and he has helped me to find a part of me that was hiding. My husband used to call me "a leaf" because I would just float through life and go with the flow. Owen has helped me to find part of that person again. He is a very calm baby, and he helps me to be calm too. He has given me the gift of experiencing life as a mother to a typical child...which most people know nothing else. Owen has helped me to realize that most babies learn to do things on their own, without the aid of therapists and interventions. I have connected with other mothers of children the same age, and I have enjoyed it. He has helped to balance me. The uptight mother has been balanced with the laid back mother to create a once again very happy person.

Both of my children have made me who I am today. I would not change a thing about either one of them because that would change who I am, and today....I'm pretty happy with who I am.

What to do with a snow day?

I was just about to download my photos when I noticed this....

this is what I dressed Owen in last weekend as we were doing yardwork


and this is what he was dressed in yesterday!


AHHHH! Just one of the joys of living in Wyoming. The only thing you can predict about the weather is that it WILL be unpredictable.

We decided to make good use of a snowy Saturday. I watched out the window all night as the beautiful flakes fell to the ground, and I had visions of the enormous snowman that Emma and I would make. So, yesterday morning, I got us both dressed in our snow gear and out the door we went. We began to pack the first snowball, and I realized it was not the packable kind of snow. So, I went and got a bucket of water, and together Emma and I made the most of it and made a pretty good...although small and rather odd shaped...snowman:).




Emma, of course, is highly concerned about the snowman having to sleep outside. Oh, how will I deal with the tears that will surely fall after Mr. Snowman melts. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Next, every Wyoming girl needs to learn how to eat a "Wyoming popsicle"

Mmmmm...mmmmm...Good!

Then, we headed to the backyard to play on the swingset. Emma was in awe of what she saw



But, we brushed them off, and broke off the icicles, and she had a great time anyway!


To finish off the outside play time, we journeyed to the slide, and what did we find??

Em thought it was a BLAST to slide down into the snow:).

One last shot before we headed inside.


Owen came inside during most of the fun...to hang out with Dad


We had so much fun! We came in the house and had hot chocolate and marshmellows (yum), then we ventured back outside to scoop up some of that clean white stuff to make some YUMMY snow ice cream!

Emma really wants it to snow every day. I, however like it on occassion. We truly do enjoy it when it comes.

Don't Say That!!!

Funny little story here....I was in the shower with Emma the other day. She has a water bottle that she likes to play with after she is all clean. I let her sit on the floor of the shower and I fill the bottle with cold water. She thinks it is just HILARIOUS to spray the cold water on my feet. So, as a little speech therapy, I always make her ask, "More water please Mommy". Well, she has been able to say that for awhile. SO, the other day I decided to have her say, "I want more water please mommy". She did it.....AWESOME!! (that's a 6 word sentence....can I hear a YA HOOOOO!!). So, she said it once, I gave her cold water, and she sprayed it all over my feet while laughing hysterically! Then, she handed me the water bottle and said, "More water please mommy". I said, "no, say I want more water please mommy". She looked at me, rolled her eyes and said, "DON'T SAY THAT MOMMY". I had to laugh and aplaud her for her talking! Even though it was sassy...it was GREAT! You go little girl! Momma loves to hear you talk:).

Making progress

Since my last post I have made some progress. For me and my emotional outlook...it is always two steps forward and one step back. However, I figure as long as it is still 2 steps forward I am making progress, right? I'm not sure that I will ever be 100% OK with the fact that Emma's not "normal"(I'm more than OK with Emma....just not the circumstances), and I guess that is OK. It's difficult when you dream about your child your entire life, you get pregnant and the whole 9 months you plan their future, and in the blink of an eye everything that you had planned changes. It's not necessarily bad that it changes. It's just difficult to wrap your mind around your entire future looking different than you had ever dreamed.

It's almost like I have 2 personalities these days.

There's the one personality who obviously loves Emma no matter what (actually BOTH personalities feel that way), but this personality is just the go with the flow type of gal who can take whatever comes and make the very best of it. Yes, this personality knows that I'm going to be OK no matter what. I can take it, and I'm going to be strong through it all.

THEN, there is personality number two that doesn't know how I'm EVER going to do this. This personality is angry and bitter. This personality wants to spit in the face of anyone that has never had to deal with accepting that their child will never be "normal"...those who look down their nose at me because their lives are "normal".

Yesterday a mom of one of my students was talking to me (she has 3 children...all of them "typical). She said to me, "I think God choses those who can handle having a child with special needs". While I do believe a part of this is true.....What is the deciding factor on this? What did I ever do to make me "worthy" and not this mother that said this to me?

Yes, I am proud of my Emma. She is my world. She makes everyone smile and realize that life IS good. It's just that a little tiny piece of my heart aches when the children in her class ask why she doesn't talk like they do...or she pushes someone (because she's trying to get their attention) and the other child sees it as Emma being mean. It's times like that that I have to ask WHY??

It's like I told this mom...."I truly believe that every parent should have to experience having a special needs child for a few years and then it is someone elses turn". They do teach you so so much that I think everyone should be given the same opportunities. At the same time I think that all parents of children with special needs should have the experience of living a "normal" life with their children.

Ahhhh, what changes there would be if I was in charge of the world.

Today...Breath...Get through Today

Why is it that some days are like this? Today I saw a little girl doing cartwheels while her mom was trying to get her into the car. I saw her and all I could think was, "That's supposed to be my little girl....why why why???". Just when you think that you won't ever ask "why?" again. Just when you think you are comfortable with life and where your child is....it hits you like a ton of bricks. Damn it!!! It's just not fair! Yes, I am so very thankful that she is alive! I am so thankful that she is who she is and that she shines sunshine into very dark places, but sometimes I just have to ask WHY!!!

I listen to the children in my class talk about Emma. They are so sweet saying, "Emma is just very little" or "she is young". While I am so happy that the others are so accepting...I just wish....oh how I wish!!

Yes, I am having my own pity party! I am....I am entitled. It won't last forever...but, it is what it is.

Here's a little picture of my 2 to brighten this post:). Enjoy!

Where does the time go??

I honestly can't believe that September is here...and our weather feels like Christmas is just around the corner. I wouldn't be surprised at all if I woke up to snow in the morning?? CRAZY!

Well, here are some pictures of a few things that have happened in our household lately....

We had Owen baptized in August. We have many pictures, but this is BY FAR my favorite:)


Then, Emma started Kindergarten! I can't believe it, but my baby girl is in big kid school! She absolutely LOVES it. They are long days for her, but she is doing GREAT! She says her favorite thing so far is the FREEZE song:). It's so fun to be able to watch her interact with the other kids. She is a peanut with a giant personality:).


Then, here is a picture of Big Boy Owen. He is growing so fast. It is fun to watch him:). He is now almost 14 lbs. He is rolling both ways, and can he ever carry on a conversation with himself:). He is loving daycare:).


Enjoying fall...wouldn't mind a little more summer, but we'll take what we can get:).

Today You're 5

Today is the day....my big girl (who is 33 lbs. and 37 1/2 inches tall) is 5 years old! Honesty is what I'm going to write today. I looked back at my blog this morning to see what Emma was doing at this time last year, and I think that I have always been very vague about Em's accomplishments (as a protection for myself). Now, I really wish that I had written about it because I KNOW that she has made leaps and bounds in the past year. SO, here goes.....Emma says so many words now. She will repeat any word that you give her (it may or may not sound the same). She puts together many 2 and 3 word phrases. "I go", "all done", I U Mommy" (ie...I love you mommy...makes a momma's heart proud), "no way", and many many many more. She can count to 10...although she ALWAYS leaves out 7. She loves the numbers 8, 9, and 10. We are working on identifying colors....but we're not there yet. She can match anything....the girl LOVES to match. She loves to play with Barbies and Hannah Montana:(! In the past year she had learned how to jump off of things and she's learned how to ride a tricycle (although she still doesn't LIKE to ride her tricycle). She can eat anything (except her allergens) and drink straight liquids (without thickener) without getting sick. Em loves to sing, and will try to sing every song that she hears.

Overall, Emma's come a long long ways. We still have a long way to go, but we are enjoying each new milestone that she makes. Life is good.

The Big 5!!!

Dear Little Missy Moo Emma Loo,
I cannot believe that tomorrow it will be 5 years since I first saw your beautiful face. I remember the first time that I saw your long black hair and heard your sweet little cry. I knew at that moment that you were mine and I would do everything in my power to always protect you. You were my sweet precious baby, and I loved you more than life.

That first year was tough. I saw you fight for your life so many times. You hung on and successfully made it over every hurdle with ease. You amazed all of us including the medical professionals. I saw you in pain so many times, and I cried for you wishing that I could take your place and make the bad times go away. We saw you transform from the very fragile caterpillar to an amazing strong butterfly. You found your wings, and you flew! Everywhere that you would go people would comment on your beauty. You knew how to work a room. Your personality just shone, and there was rarely a moment when you were not smiling.

Today, I look at you and I am in awe. Life is still challenging in so many ways, however you never let it get you down. You are the strongest person that I know. Your beauty and personality have become even larger than I ever imagined they could be. I look at you when you are telling me, "NO MOMMY!" and while it makes me frustrated that you don't want to listen to me....I always take a step back and appreciate the spunky little spitfire girl that you have become. You are my baby that they said would never walk....as you run from me laughing. You are my baby that they said would never talk, as you sing the song, "ONE DAY!" over and over and over and over.

Sing away sweet songbird. Your voice is the sweetest most wonderful sound that I have ever heard. Your mission in life is unknown, but you have already accomplished so much. Everyday I thank God that you have made it through all that you have. You are my angel sent from Heaven above to teach me and so many others about love and patience. Thank you for choosing me to be your Momma! I am one lucky lady.

Love,
Mommy

The Mind is a Scary Place

At times I worry that my mind cannot quite comprehend everything that happens in my world. I think that part of my mind is just my "tune out zone". When things get too complicated I just go to that place....and it makes me happy again. I find myself needing to do this a lot lately. There are so many big changes that are coming....and they are coming SOON! First, Emma will be 5...can you believe it??? 5 YEARS OLD!!! Where did all of the time go?? Second, Emma will be starting KINDERGARTEN! Yikes!! AND she will be IN MY CLASS. While an enormous part of me is so excited about this, and we did push for this to happen....a small part of me is scared out of my mind. Does that make me a bad parent?? Just the thought of it is making my mind go to its "happy place".

I know that Emma will be fine. It's me that I worry about. Not me as the teacher....she will be fine also. It's me as the Momma...who's heart literally gets ripped right out of my chest anytime that I see kids being mean to my little girl. Kids can be brutal! I know that I was probably brutal to kids who were different (meaning had special needs) when I was a kid, but I really wish that if I was mean I could turn back time and make it "all better" (Emma's favorite saying right now). I think that it will be difficult to try to explain to other students in my class why Emma is "different". I think it will be very difficult to seperate the teacher from the Momma in those situations. BUT, they will come and we will get through it. My mind will just go to the "happy place".

I find that since Emma was born I am much more outspoken than I ever was before. I have always been a fun and outgoing person. Now, I find that I am still me...with just a little more fire when it comes to certain subjects. Here is an example.....I frequent (many times daily) a website that has families of children with liver disease. I LOVE the people on the website and have made some wonderful friends who are on similar journeys. I have always felt that I am a big part of that website because Emma is the same as those children. I know that Emma has other issues, but I allow my mind to go to the "happy place", and I can make myself believe sometimes that liver disease is all that we are facing. However, TODAY one particular post hit me right in the heart! It made me feel like I had been knocked down on the floor and I was gasping for air. Really, it was a simple word that the mother wrote. Her child had just had a liver transplant yesterday and she was angry at a nurse. However, the one little word that she wrote made me lose a little respect for this mother, and it made me feel like she is one of the priviledged ones in the world.....a mother who does not have a child who is of lower intelligence. The mother wrote , "Does the nurse think I am a retard???". Yes, her child just had a transplant....I know that the mother is not "lucky". I know that she is hurting inside, and it was just a flippant comment. Before I had Emma the comment would have struck me as a little odd, but it would not have had the impact that it had on me today. It took everything in my not to PM her and tell her that it was inappropriate. But, #1 her child is very sick, and it would be very bad timing on my part. AND, #2 I know that it wasn't intended to be mean......my heart is just fragile.

So, today my mind will just go to my "happy place". Today I will count my blessings that my baby girl is almost 5 and will be going with me to kindergarten. Today I will be a happy momma who loves my girl no matter what.

4 days later....a prince is born

4 days after my last post....our prince decided it was time to make his entrance into the world. What an amazing entrance it was!! He decided to be born on one of my very best friend's birthdays.....April 28th....Happy Birthday Becky...AND Owen Edward James __________. He was 4 weeks early but healthy as can be:). He tipped the scales at 6 lbs. 14 oz. and 20 inches long. He really is amazing! Eating, sleeping, pooping, peeing (everywhere:)...boys are so much fun:)). What more can we ask for?? Here are a few pictures of the Prince...and one with the Princess. She's still not sure what to think of him! When he cries she yells at him, "STOP...no crying!!!" (Like that's going to make him stop??). She does love to hold him and kiss him too.
Owen's 1st picture....he's pretty relaxed:):







Here is Emma thinking, "If I just keep this plug in....he won't cry"

Falling into place....???....

I am going to knock on wood before I even type this post, but things really do seem to be falling into place. I am back to work, and feeling pretty darn good I have to say. I have 19 days to go until my scheduled c-section date, however my OB doesn't seem to think I will make it that long...and at this point I am OK with that. The ultrasound on Monday showed that my baby boy weighs a whopping 7 lbs. 3 oz. (YEAH C-section!). I feel an overwhelming sense of peace about his health, and I think that is a very good sign.

The planets also seem to be properly aligned at this moment. The BIG news since the last time I posted....EMMA GETS TO COME TO MY SCHOOL! Yes, I will have the ultimate priviledge of being her teacher next year. I can't even begin to explain what a huge weight that was off of my shoulders. I am so excited to see her get on the bus the first day with her brand new lunch box (Lord only knows what she will want to pack in it) and her pretty little dress. She is such a big girl, and I am just blessed to be able to be her first teacher in the public school setting.

We also had Emma's transition meeting last night (2 1/2 HOURS!!!)(Transitioning from pre-school to public school). I was extremely nervous about this meeting as her pre-school therapists go through all of her strengths, weaknesses, and.......show us the testing that shows where she is "developmentally". I have asked to not see any of the "scores" for these tests since Emma was 18 months. Seeing the scores back then did NOTHING for me! It just sent me into a crazy funk, and made me feel disconnected with my child....not very promising for either of us. I knew going into this meeting that I would be shown those scores, and I had prepared myself. However, when they got to that part of the meeting (and that part of the 3" thick packet of paperwork) there was a page that was folded in half. It was her scores!! They "had" to give them to me, but I am so glad that I didn't "have" to see them. No, I am not an ostrich with my head in the sand. I KNOW that Emma is developmentally behind her peers in ALL areas, BUT she is EXACTLY where she is supposed to be! That is truly all that I care about. Tell me what goals she has met (for her), and tell me where we need to go from here. End of story. The meeting went well, and I left with a positive feeling that next year Miss Emma is going to shine!!

Also, last week I found daycare for baby boy:). That was a HUGE relief!!! We live in a town of about 8,000. We don't have many daycares, and it seems that EVERYONE that works for the school district that is in the childbearing years is pregnant! Each daycare can only take 2 infants, so when I heard that the daycare that was #1 on my list had an infant opening I literally sprinted to the phone....which was not at all pretty by the way! I know the owner and I have since high school. I am just very excited!

So, that's our lives in a nutshell! Things are feeling pretty good, and I am so glad to know that the planets have finally figured it out and found that perfect alignment:).

This Life

Here I sit at 2:30 am full of frustration and confusion. Maybe it's because it's the middle of the night and I'm just not thinking clearly, but I felt like I needed to write some thoughts down so I can eventually look back and see how far I've come. That's what this blog is all about, right?

I sometimes sit back and I can't believe this is my life. Five years ago I sat on this same couch (probably in the middle of the night), pregnant, and I would never have dreamed that our path would have gone this way. I will just say it.....I never WANTED to be a mom of a child with special needs. Who would? I never WANTED to have a child with a complex medical history. Who would? Yet, here I sit 5 years later up to my neck in it....and what the hell am I supposed to do about it? Don't get me wrong I love her with all of my heart. I just hate the way that I still feel about being a mom with a child with special needs and a complex medical history. AND, I hate the fact that I will never know WHY! It hurts my heart like no one will ever understand to not know what the future holds for her. It makes me so very angry that we have to fight for every single thing for her, and it frustrates me that she will never be looked at as "normal".

My heart is so heavy tonight. I am so worried all the time that something will be wrong with this baby. I am in constant turmoil over it. What did I do wrong the first time I was pregnant? What if I have done it again? I pray that God knows that I am not strong enough to do this again. I NEED to experience normal. PLEASE let me experience normal. I hate the fact that we went to the neonatologist and got the perfect picture of the baby's foot (on ultrasound) and Tim and I both immediately jump into panic mode thinking that his foot looks exactly like Emma's. We then have the doctor going in search of the baby's thumbs....we need a picture of those thumbs to SEE that they are not the same as Emma's. It just makes my heart shatter! How can I NOT want this baby to be like Emma? As I layed there asking the doctor to look for different things on the ultrasound, I looked over at my sweet girl sitting on her Daddy's lap, and it just made me sad! How can I love someone SO much, yet be petrified at the thought of having another one like her?

As the time for the baby to be born gets closer, I can feel my anxiety getting worse. When I think about it, it feels like my chest is collapsing and I can no longer breath. I so badly want to see him, but I also don't want everyone checking him out head to toe to see if he has the same "dysmorphic features" (doctor's words:(....damn them) as his sister's. I want to just love and appreciate every aspect of both of my children, but tonight I just feel like a bad mom.

Happy 4th Liver Birthday Miss Em

Dear Emma,
I never imagined 4 years ago today that life with you could be this amazing. You have definitely been the rainbow at the end of the rain. Your colors shine through to all who meet you. You have such an amazing capability to make everyone smile. Even the person who is angry at the world and can see nothing good....cannot help but smile at you.

I believe that you know that you have this special gift, and you carry it with you like a treasure. You know exactly when to bring it out (when your being sent to your room for being naughty, and you just have to give Mom a hug first). Your world is amazing, and it is such a blessing to see you continually learn about your surroundings.

4 years ago today we placed you in the arms of a nurse to take you off to an 8 hour surgery. What should have been the most terrifying moment of my life...was actually one of the most peaceful. I knew that you had to have that surgery for you to live. Time was not on our side, and I had watched you slowly deteriorate for 7 months. I knew that you were struggling, and I was so thankful that you were finally receiving your gift.

Your Angel Claire has watched over you constantly. I have thought about and prayed for her family every day for the past 4 years. In their time of great sorrow, they chose to help 17 others. I'm so glad that one of those was you.

You never take a day for granted Emma. You live every day to its fullest, and you are rarely sad or angry. I cannot imagine if our journey had taken a different path, and I could not look at your smiling face today. I feel like the luckiest mommy in the whole world.

Continue your magic Emma! You are such an inspiration to so many.

Love,
Mama

1 more day....1 Angel always remembered

Claire would have been 21 years old. She was planning to become a nurse when her life came to an end on that beautiful mountain. Not a day goes by that I don't think of the devastation that her family has/ and continues to feel. Not a night goes by that I don't go into Emma's room after she is sleeping and thank "Angel Claire" for protecting our sweet girl. Emma gets her strength from Claire. I truly believe that. It has been said that the recipient of an organ often takes on some of the characteristics of the donor. Although I never knew Claire, I have read many comments from her friends and families that have been written on a website dedicated to her life. I know that she was a beautiful girl with a big heart. She loved life, and I know that she has passed that trait on to our Emma. Thank you Angel Claire for donating your liver to our little 7 month old girl who was desperately fighting for every breath she took. 4 years later and your liver is still a perfect fit for our fiesty girl. Bless you Angel Claire!